'Til the Fat Girl Sings...continued! By Sharon Wheatley

NEW BLOG SITE!!!

2011-10-02T20:31:00.005-04:00

Hello everyone!

Please visit my NEW BLOG at www.sharonwheatley.com

This one is now obsolete!!

See you there in a second...

An Exciting Endeavor

2009-12-16T10:49:00.006-05:00

Some very smart and forward thinking people are trying to start a daycare for Broadway babies and kids. My family was featured in this wonderful New York Times story and video (click on the link or cut and paste into your browser to read the story, and click on the picture to view the video).

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/05/nyregion/05bigcity.html

My new column in Equity News

2009-08-24T21:40:00.004-04:00

Having It All in New York

Sharon Wheatley with her husband Robert Meffe and daughters Charlotte Meffe (Age 11) and Beatrix Meffe (Age 1)

Combining Parenting and Career is Not Easy!

By Sharon Wheatley

I was late for my audition-again.

Here's my recipe for delinquency, see if it sounds familiar. Start with an 11 a.m. audition time in Chelsea, mix it with a school age daughter who needs to be delivered to school at 8:20 a.m. (100 blocks south of our apartment), sprinkle in a one-year old who is teething (and not sleeping), and the final touch, a late babysitter (due to unexplainable and endless "track work" on the A train). Now stir.

Thousands of Actors' Equity members who are parents create their own version of this recipe every day. Equity parents manage an obstacle course of issues that do not typically arise with parents who work traditional nine to five schedules. We love our work and cherish that we are living our dream, but what about the other dream? The family. Show business is not always family-friendly. It demands short-term relocations (on a moment's notice), evening and weekend work hours and a life in high rent cities, often when you have no job. On top of that, many Equity parents have moved away from their hometowns and long for a community of parents who understand our crazy, gypsy lifestyle.

Here's the good news on this particular morning. My 5th grader was successfully delivered to school by Daddy, the one-year old was gnawing on a teething ring with a vengeance, and I was showered (thanks, Sesame Street). But the bad news was bad: I had wet hair, no makeup, I wasn't warmed up, and my audition dress was missing. As Beatrix (the saber toothed one-year old) wrapped herself around my damp legs with a whine, I checked the time. 10:05 a.m. I had 55 minutes. Never gonna happen. Should I call and try to move my time? No way. Totally unprofessional. I should have planned better and asked the babysitter to come at 9 a.m. to give myself some breathing room. When I'd scheduled her for 10 a.m., I was trying to save a little money-auditions can be expensive. For each audition I have to figure in an hour to commute each way (I live in Washington Heights), an hour for the audition (more if there is a dance call or the callback is later in the afternoon), so it's a three hour minimum-average cost $50 without allowing "getting ready time."

I'd now pay a million dollars to the nearest babysitter if I could only make it to my audition on time-let alone with dry hair. And with that, my prayers were answered, the doorbell rang and my sitter arrived. A quick blow dry, a skirt in place of the missing dress, it's 10:13 a.m. and I'm out the door. Not bad; I will just about make it.

I jumped into the just arriving A train (yea for good train karma today!), grabbed a seat in the empty back car and took my first deep breath of the day. I started the audition commute multi-task: applying makeup while warming up and going over my sides. I really should list "I can apply mascara perfectly on a speeding A train" as a special skill on my resume. As I polished and powdered myself, I reminisced about the old days when I would spend hours getting ready for an audition. I must've been, what, 24? 25? I remembered what an agent had said to me when I was single and in my 20s. "There's a million of your type in New York. Too bad you aren't 40; that's when everyone leaves the business to have babies." I also remember my silent reaction to that statement: "Not me. I'm not leaving. I'm going to have it all." (Cue music for the song from Baby.)

I miraculously arrived at Chelsea at 10:59 a.m. to a smiling monitor who informed me that I'd be next. "Great," I replied, trying to look as calm and together as I possibly could while hastily changing my shoes and digging for a current resume. I knew better than to complain. No one, let me repeat that, NO ONE wants to hear about what 500 things I had to juggle to arrive on time. I looked around at the other women waiting and noticed how nervous they seemed. Oddly, my nerves were fine now. I'd been a frazzled mess an hour ago, but now it seemed the hard part was over. I was here (on time!) and my little chickens were happy. I smiled to myself at the monitor yelled, "Next!" and I got up to go into the room. I'd just realized that the easiest pat of my morning was the audition itself.

This column is dedicated to the Equity members who are parents and want to "have it all." We-the Parents' Committee-will concentrate on building a community of AEA parents, as well as AEA members who are considering becoming parents. We have heard again and again that parents in our Union feel alone in a society that caters to parenting needs of daytime workers.

We will take on one AEA parenting challenge per issue and we'd love your feedback and questions. Please email me directly at Sharon@Sharon Wheatley.com with any questions and build our community by joining the Actors' Equity Association Parents' Group on Facebook.

Sharon Wheatley is a cast member of AVENUE Q on Broadway, and the author of 'til the Fat Girl Sings: From an Overweight Nobody to a Broadway Somebody. She has two children: Charlotte (age 11) and Beatrix (age 1). (Editor's note: For information on National Childcare resources, click here

For more information about Equity's Parents Committees, contact:

Eastern Region: Rebecca Kim Jordan, Eastern Parents Committee Chair, c/o Beverly Sloan, AEA Staff at 212.869.8530

Western Region: Clarinda Ross, Western Parents Committee Chair c/o Richard Ostlund, AEA Staff at 323.978.8080

Sharon as Kate Monster and Lucy in Avenue Q on Broadway

2009-06-15T10:17:00.003-04:00

I'll be performing as Kate Monster/Lucy the Slut this week! Thursday June 18th at 8pm, Friday June 19th and Saturday June 20th at 2 and 8pm. Please come! For tickets visit www.avenueq.com or TKTS. If you come, stick around after the show and I'll say hi at the stagedoor. Thanks!

Please join me TONIGHT at The After Party

2008-11-07T08:14:00.001-05:00

TONIGHT!!
November 7th!
A Special PRE-PARTY Edition of
THE AFTER PARTY
A NEW TIME FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY
7:30pm to Midnight
featuring
Author of 'Til The Fat Girl Sings and
Avenue Q's
SHARON WHEATLEY
and
A TALE OF TWO CITIES'
DEVIN RICHARDS

THE AFTER PARTY:
A Special PRE-PARTY Edition
TONIGHT!
Friday, November 7th
One Night Only @ 7:30pm.
The Laurie Beechman Theatre
@ the West Bank Cafe.
407 w42nd St., NYC.
FREE!

Doors open @ 7:30pm.
Show beings @ 8pm.

For more information and other fun facts,
please visit:
www.BrandonCutrell.com
www.MySpace.com/BrandonCutrell
www.WestBankCafe.com
www.MySpace.com/AfterPartyNYC
www.AlyshaUmphress.com
Located within the
West Bank Cafe
407 west 42nd Street @ 9th Ave.
212-695-6909

When it's all worth it...

2008-10-15T00:30:00.002-04:00

This is a letter from my friend Bryan, who is a freshman in Musical Theater at Penn State. He said I could share it on my blog, and I hope you enjoy it.

Hey Sharon,
So for my English class we had to write a narrative about a literacy event that taught us something. I wanted to share what I wrote with you because I ended up being pretty proud of it. I know it isn't arthur laurents or anything, but I thought you might appreciate it. :)

Bryan Baldwin

“My Name is Bryan and I was Fat.”

I was fat. That is all I can think of to say. I was fat and it was ruining my life. I couldn’t concentrate, I had a social life that consisted of the characters from Friends and "Tony the Tiger” and was completely and utterly miserable. My life long dream of being an actor was starting to show some promise but it felt like my casting was always second-guessed because of my weight. How could people want to watch someone perform onstage who was growing outward so quickly that they could hardly lift themselves up off the floor? My life was in a downward spiral and despite the worries of my parents (which I always answered with a nasty glare) I attempted to find my way out of my despair through 2 a.m. bowls of ice cream in the darkness of my bedroom. The only joys in my life were musical theatre, food, and the annual trip I took to New York with my dad. This year was different though; Dad went without me and all he brought back was a stupid book; a stupid, freaking book with nothing but a fat girl on the cover. I didn’t care that it was about Broadway, or even that it might help me lose the weight that secretly haunted my every thought during every moment of every day. I smiled politely, put the book down on my night table and went to bed, not suspecting at all that this book would change my life.

It was six months later and my family was on our annual summer vacation, this year to Hawaii; the retreat for the gorgeously bronzed and thin God-like creatures who lounged around all day, half naked, soaking up the sun. Although I loved taking tropical vacations (mostly for the roast pig), I was petrified for this trip because I knew it would involve another struggle with donning my sized 44 swim trunks. There I was, sitting on the beach with my beautifully blonde, athletic sister (who could eat anything she wanted and still be a rail) when she looked at me with her movie star sunglasses and said the most terrifying words I could have imagined: “Why are you still wearing a shirt? Take it off, we are at the beach!”

I wanted to run away and hide. I had painstakingly tried to remain invisible next to my model sister in my gargantuan swim trunks and t-shirt but it was apparently not working. I slowly stood up, took off my shirt as fast as I could, and sat back down. This was the most horrible feeling in the whole world. I felt ugly, naked, and the most uncomfortable I had been in a long time.

Lying there with my farmer’s tan, delineated with white fleshy blobs for arms, exposed in all my glory and feeling my fat seep through the plastic lounge chair, I saw my father approaching. Earlier in the trip, I had complained to him that I didn’t bring any reading material and he had briefly mentioned that he brought me something I might be interested in. As he got closer, I was desperately hoping he would tell me that it was time to leave for a big eat-your-sorrows-away dinner. Instead he pulled out a book and said, “I think you will really like this. It’s about a girl who always loved to perform and is now a Broadway actress. Oh... and she had a weight problem growing up...”

The term “weight problem” is just a fancy way that doctors and other professionals waltz around telling fat people the hard, cold truth. My parents loved “weight problem” and used it every time the issue came up.

He handed me a black, yellow, and white paperback that oddly resembled a Broadway Playbill. I immediately recognized the book with the fat girl on the cover that I had set aside six months ago and hoped to never see again. I smiled that same “I’m going to pretend to be interested so we can change the subject” smile I had before and turned it over. The words on the back cover immediately struck out at me like sharp, painful darts. “My name is Sharon and I am fat. I think it is important to tell you that I am fat right away because I am sure you can tell, even though you cannot see me. I don’t blame you for not liking me. After all, not many people do.”

I sat there dumbfounded, trying to hide the hurt from my family. Had I written this? How did this person know exactly how I felt? I had no choice but to start reading, and thus began my journey with Sharon Wheatley’s ‘Til the Fat Girl Sings ' .

The second I opened this novel, it was impossible for me to put it down. It was so easy for me to empathize with this girl who felt like she would forever have to fake a life of happiness on the outside while still feeling deeply depressed on the inside. It seemed like every sentence Wheatley wrote was about me, only from her eyes. The sneaking down to the kitchen at night for a secret midnight snack and becoming a master at preparing food silently (harder than you think), the urge to perform and the obsession with Broadway, the pain of having to laugh about my weight when someone would joke about it, and worst of all, the fear that I would never realize my dreams because of my addiction to food. I read this book all the way through in about two days on my Hawaiian vacation but it wasn’t until the next New Year that I would change myself forever.

Over the next few months, I thought of Sharon’s book practically every day. I thought of how she had changed herself and how, according to the book, becoming a healthier person had affected every aspect of her life. I tried dieting once or twice over this period but still was never able to fully commit. I would start anew every morning saying that this was it, this was the day that I was going to change and lose all of the weight that I needed to be a new person. Throughout the day I would always “fall off the wagon” (as my mom referred to it) and eat something I knew I shouldn’t. The repetition of this failure every day threw me into an even deeper despair and my eating became worse than ever.

That December, my friends and I took a trip together to Disneyland. We spent the whole day laughing, riding roller coasters, and of course, eating anything and everything we could get our hands on; well, at least I did. Being theatre people, we planned a hilarious picture for Splash Mountain and when the picture was taken, we were more than ready to see it. Without even looking at it on the monitor, I waddled over to the booth where they sold the pictures as fast as I could and ordered one. The cashier handed me the picture and I opened in it up in such anticipation…then I saw myself. Something was wrong, I looked huger than ever in my red sweatshirt that was advertised as slimming. I was shocked and mortified. It was one of those moments where I wanted nothing more than to go huddle up in a corner by myself and cry my eyes out. How could I have let this happen? What was I doing to myself? Was this how my whole life was destined to be?

The photo haunted me the rest of the trip and after I had gotten home. My head was swimming with confusion as I alternated between denial and reality. I could not believe that I had I had let myself get this way. Finally one day as I got out of the shower, I looked at myself. I looked at my body hard, in a way I had avoided for a very long time. There I stood in front of my full-length bedroom mirror with everything exposed; I felt disgusting. There was nothing at all healthy about my body. My tub-of-lard belly hung over my size 44 waist like a giant chocolate chip muffin. Holding it up were my thighs, that looked more like two honey hams, sitting on tree trunk calves for support. As my eyes traveled back up my body, I saw my chest and the two deflated water balloons it consisted of and the Sta-Puf marshmallow man arms attached to it. This was not me, this was the real me in a fat suit from the movies, trying to escape but trapped beneath a shell of someone I didn’t know. Humiliated with myself, I looked around my room to make sure no one was watching me; it was then that I saw it. My semi-worn copy of ‘Til the Fat Girl Sings was sitting on top of my bookshelf like a sign. It was time; I knew it more than ever. And this time I really would succeed, even though it would take me over a year to do.

So on January 1, 2007, I made a New Year’s resolution and took on the greatest challenge of my life. Without any fanfare, I began to study food values, cut back on my eating habits, avoid fast food and exercise regularly. As the numbers on the scale dropped day by day, I felt like I could see my own self melting away into a much healthier person. About ten months after I embarked on my weight loss journey, I was on top of the world. In addition to having lost 90 pounds, I had gotten more friends at school, grew closer to the friends I already had, and was cast in my first role as a leading man (not the character or the fat guy). I am not so superficial to believe that losing weight and becoming healthy eliminated all my problems. Sharon’s book had taught me that I could be confident no matter what I looked like, and that is what made the difference

In October of 2007, a few weeks before the annual New York trip, my dad called me into the kitchen and told me that he had written to Sharon and told her my story. After only a few short days, she contacted us and suggested that we meet. She had never met someone who had actually successfully lost weight because of inspiration from her book and I honestly felt like she wanted to get to know me. As we all sat at dinner, I felt like I was joking and laughing with an old friend rather than someone I had known in person for only an hour. Over the past year, Sharon and I have kept in touch and talk frequently. She is someone I highly respect and I feel like I will always have her as a teacher, mentor, and friend.

‘Til the Fat Girl Sings has meant so much more to my life and goals than I ever imagined it would. If I am having a hard day, trying to find inspiration, or even just looking for comfort, I delve into the world of Sharon Wheatley and read a chapter from the novel. I give it most of the credit for my lifestyle change, confidence, and countless other things. It blows my mind that I was able to make this huge change in my life because of motivation from a book that I was petrified to read in the first place. All because of one person’s story, I am now a normal guy wearing a medium t-shirt and a 34 inch swimsuit who is proud of the way I look and I know that nothing can stop me from finding my dream.

Beatrix is already a goof ball

2008-09-09T10:25:00.003-04:00

A Laugh

2008-09-05T09:35:00.003-04:00

This needs little introduction. Please enjoy!

A film by Center of Comedy Productions

Written and directed by Charlotte Meffe
Filmed by Rob Meffe
Starring Beatrix Jane Meffe (with a brief cameo appearance by Charlotte)

Rosie's Broadway Kids

2008-08-04T19:54:00.002-04:00

Hi Everyone,

I'm not sure if you've heard of Rosie's Broadway Kids, but I urge you to visit their web-site and read all about them. I recently attended their summer performance and was blown away. I wrote my friend Lori Klinger a note about my experience and she posted it on their website, so here's a link if you'd like to take a peek.

http://rosiesbroadwaykids.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

Beatrix Eats!!

2008-07-21T13:48:00.004-04:00

Today we will have a guest host blogger. Charlotte Meffe. Heeeeere's Charlotte!

I loved feeding Beatrix this morning. She just spit the food out and looked at me like I was crazy. She spit it out and put it everywhere. She put it on me, on her, on the high chair, everywhere. And I mean everywhere you can think of. It was easy to find on you, it was orange, sweet potato. I tasted it, even if I knew it would not be good... It really tasted good and bad. It was like mashed sweet potato with water added. Here are 2 videos of her 1st day of eating real food!

Milwaukee wrap up and future performing news

2008-07-13T13:46:00.005-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This is the final installment of my trip to Milwaukee. We did finally arrive home, after flying through a break in tornados, 6 hours late only to wait in line at LaGuardia for an hour. Actual in bed time: 3am.

But, it was so worth it. Special thanks to my fellow vlog co-stars Jacob Brent and Farah Alvin.

Thank you so much for watching all the installments of my video-blog and I hope to bring you more soon. Tomorrow I help fellow cast members of Avenue Q ring in the opening bell of the Nasdeq, so I'll try to video a little of that.

Just to explain--I can't really show you very much performance video footage due to very strict union guidelines. I wish I could!

The next day I started rehearsal for AVENUE Q in New York. If you are interested, I will be performing in AVENUE Q this summer for these scheduled dates:

As Mrs. T/Yellow Bear on July 20th (both shows)
Tuesday July 22nd and Thursday 24th at 8 pm
Saturday July 26th (both shows)

I will play Kate Monster/Lucy on Friday August 29th 8pm
Saturday August 30th (both shows)
Sunday August 31st (both shows)

For tickets visit www.avenueq.com

Also, to my sweet Aunt Barbie in Akron. I love you, I'm thinking about you, and I hope you are hanging in there. And, I hope all these glimpses into my life help you through rough days. The videos are kind of silly, I know, but they are all for you.

xoxoxoxo,

Me

Something to make you smile

2008-07-08T00:20:00.003-04:00

Hi Everyone,

Rob and Charlotte left today for Vermont to do Les Miserables at The Weston Playhouse. Yep, Charlotte is in the show, playing Little Cosette and Rob is music directing. I was going to join them in the show, but I stayed in New York with Beatrix to do Avenue Q.

Last night, nervous about starting rehearsal, Charlotte asked me if I thought she was a good singer. "Very good!" I said.
"Do you think I'll grow up and be a singer?" she asked. I told her I thought she was talented in many ways and that I felt certain she would do something wonderful with her life. "Really, Mommy?" she asked. I explained that she has so many talents it's hard to know what she'll do. "Sometimes you just have to wait and see why you were put on this earth." I said.

Charlotte looked me in the eye and said very seriously, "Mom. I know why I was put on this earth. Comedy."

Naturally I broke out in a huge laugh and she looked at me, still very seriously, even as my eyes watered with laughter and said, "See?"

So, I present for you....Charlotte Meffe and her very best audience, Beatrix.

Written By: Charlotte Meffe
Performed by: Charlotte Meffe
Enjoyed by: Beatrix Jane Meffe
Filmed by: Their Mother
Date: July 7, 2008

Enjoy

Milwaukee Part 8

2008-07-03T10:46:00.005-04:00

Hi!

I'm so sorry, I've been really busy at work and with Beatrix so I haven't taken the time to upload more videos. I hope everyone is doing well and a special hug and kiss to someone who might be reading this blog who needs extra TLC. (You know who you are) xo.

Watch this video first, this is the cute Chapter 6 boys at intermission:

Here's #2. Please forgive my buxom-ness, it's just the way the dress is built. I had no idea or I would have stood the whole time!! This was after the concert when we were selling stuff, farah and Chapter 6 sells CD's and I sold books. Yes, it's true, someone called me "Chubby" while I signed a book. It was mortifying!

I hope you are all well and have a safe and healthy 4th of July.

Sharon

Milwaukee Part 7

2008-06-22T11:13:00.004-04:00

Happy Sunday!

Here's another Milwaukee installment. I have a crummy internet connection today, so this is all I can do. If you'd like to see the previous posts, scroll down. I hope everyone is doing well.

Watch this one second:

Milwaukee Part 6

2008-06-17T17:44:00.005-04:00

Hi Again,

Sorry for the delay, I got caught up in Tony mania here on the Great White Way, which was very fun. Yay for In The Heights, South Pacific and all of the fantastic actors at Gypsy. If you are in NY or coming, don't miss these 3 shows...they are really wonderful...and (of course) August: Osage County.

Here is a picture with my Cincinnati friend Andy Blankenbuhler who won the Best Choreography Tony for In The Heights. He and I did Bye, Bye Birdie at St. Xavier High School and his sister Nancy was in my class at Ursuline. I'm so proud to know him!

Okay--these installments are short so I'm posting 2 of them.

Watch this one first:

Now watch this one:

Milwaukee Part 5

2008-06-15T12:27:00.001-04:00

For today's movie, visit my friend Jacob's blog at:

http://meetmeatthestagedoor.blogspot.com/2008/06/tragedy-on-lanes.html

Milwaukee Part 4

2008-06-14T00:59:00.003-04:00

Hi Everyone,

Now we are headed backstage. If you'd like to see previous posts, please scroll down or visit "old posts"

Thanks!

Milwaukee Part 3

2008-06-13T01:25:00.003-04:00

Hi Again,

Here's a little more, this is my friend Farah Alvin who is an amazing singer--seriously amazing--and she's had a little mascara mishap.

If you haven't seen the first two and would like to, please scroll own or visit "old posts"

Rough cut...rough cut...

Milwaukee Part 2

2008-06-11T23:40:00.003-04:00

Hello friends,

I'm grateful that so many of you are visiting my blog!

Here's installment #2 of the RIVETING behind the scenes look at The Milwaukee Symphony.

Remember...it's a rough cut...don't get all picky on me....

Backstage Pass

2008-06-10T23:56:00.005-04:00

Hi Everyone,

I spent a glorious few days singing with Jack Everly and The Milwaukee Symphony this past weekend, and I thought it might be kinda fun to show you what happens behind the scenes. The plan was to make this a fancy-shmancy movie, but I am knee deep in rehearsals for AVENUE Q in New York and the rest of my time is for my girls. So, I'm going to post a little every day and I'll try to make it all pretty and edited soon.

Enjoy the rough cut!

I'm joining the Broadway Company of Avenue Q

2008-05-20T13:46:00.003-04:00

Hi!

Great news! As of June 9th, 2008 I will be a permanent member of AVENUE Q on Broadway. This is a show I love and I am honored, delighted, thrilled and grateful to get to play on AVENUE Q every night. I am a standby/swing for Kate Monster/Lucy and Mrs. T/Yellow Bear, so I will give a heads up when I am going on.

Thanks!

A Day In May Life

2008-05-07T23:50:00.003-04:00

It's Tony voting season here on the great White Way, and as a Tony Voter, every May I play the "how-to-see-every-new-show-without-neglecting-my-children" game. The addition of Beatrix has added a new member to consider and here's a picture after the matinee today. Rob and I are outside of the show we saw today, SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE. Beatrix was dropped off by her babysitter, and I'm off to hop on the bus to pick up Charlotte from her playdate at her friend Rosamund's, then onto the subway, dinner, baths, piano practice, currency project, bottles, diapers....tra la, its May!!

Last night was CRY BABY, tomorrow I'm going to see a PASSING STRANGE. Saturday is IN THE HEIGHTS and Sunday GREASE, both with Charlotte. Fun, fun.

By the way, I still can't spill the good news, but I will soon. No, I'm not pregnant!!

A little shout out of love to someone who needs a smile.

2008-05-04T01:29:00.001-04:00

Feel better soon. I love you!

News, news, news...lots of news.

2008-05-04T01:05:00.002-04:00

I will be singing with The Milwaukee Symphomy for four performances of The Nifty Fifties, The golden Age of Black and White. Dates are June 6,7 and 8th.

I have more good news, but I can't officially announce it yet. Soon, soon.

Beatrix sings with Mommy

2008-04-03T21:51:00.006-04:00

Beatrix Jane seems to be musically inclined. I noticed within her first week of life that she would turn her head and forcefully press her ear against my mouth if I sang while rocking her.

A couple of days ago I was vocalizing and I heard little coos coming from the her bouncy seat. Sure enough, she seems to sing along...or at least she seems to try. What do I know? I'm just a proud Mom. You be the judge!

Starring: Beatrix Jane Meffe
Supporting role: Sharon Wheatley
Beatrix's Hair stylist: Mother Nature
Directed and filmed by Charlotte Meffe

Click on the arrow to view. She really gets going one minute in so feel free to skip ahead.

Beatrix Jane at one month

2008-03-04T00:06:00.004-05:00

This is me (looking a little tired!) and Baby Beatrix. I'm too occupied to blog right now, but I thought a picture might speak a thousand words. She's such a good baby!

Girl Power

2008-02-13T13:20:00.003-05:00

I've never been a political person, I leave that to my father who raised my sister, brother and I on Republican values. In fact, his political views are so large and loud (he says anyone who wants to know what he thinks should listen to Rush) for many years he drowned out my own political thoughts. He once said "If any of my children voted for a democrat I would consider myself a failure as a parent." True story.
Maybe because I grew up in such a political atmosphere I've never really developed my own opinions on political parties or candidates. Mostly I considered it a subject I'd like to avoid.

But this year is different. This year I'm a Hillary Clinton supporter.

Why?

Maybe it's because I have two girls growing up in this world of male leaders.

Maybe it's simply that I believe she's the best for the job.

Maybe I want to prove to my Dad that one of his children can vote for a democrat, a candidate that inspires me out of my political indifference, and still be a good, thoughtful and worthy daughter.

Maybe it's because Hillary Clinton is smart and worthy, as smart and worthy as anyone else and it's a woman's turn to sit at the head of the table.

Maybe it's because Charlotte watches primary returns come in like it's the finale for American Idol. She sees a woman running for President and she cheers. She sees unlimited possibilities. Wouldn't I be a failure as a parent if I didn't support her?

Here is a terrific article I encourage you to read. I think Obama is great, but it's all about Hillary for me.

Oh--and by the way, you can teach an old dog new tricks. My Dad is great about my support of Hillary and we discuss it often. Go Dad. As he said "I have 4 sisters and 5 grand daughters. I'm all about the girls."

Goodbye To All That (#2) by Robin Morgan

February 2, 2008

http://www.womensmediacenter.com/ex/020108.html

Our new baby, Beatrix Jane Meffe

2008-02-07T14:26:00.000-05:00

On January 30, 2008 at 3:16 pm, Beatrix Jane arrived into the world happy and healthy.
Well, I was going to write more but a certain 8-day-old baby just woke up, so I'm off to Mommy her. I'll post a picture instead and get back here soon!

Charlotte and Beatrix meet

2008-02-02T20:43:00.000-05:00

Moments after being born, Beatrix was plopped into her big sister's arms by my ob/gyn. Click on the arrow to see a short video.

Holding On

2008-01-28T08:25:00.000-05:00

September? That's the last time I blogged? Shame on me and a big apology to my one blog reader (my Aunt Barbara). Now that I've figured out how to link this to my facebook page I'm going to attempt to post stories more frequently.

So as most people who know me know, I'm pregnant and on the verge of delivery. For anyone who likes a timeline, I am 39 weeks pregnant today and my official due date is February 4th.

To clear up a little confusion, I was supposed to be induced on January 24th (last Thursday) but my doctor canceled due to a death in her husbands family and then she left to run a marathon in Miami. True story. My mother planned her vacation and purchased plane tickets based on my induction date so she is here in New York waiting for baby and being a generally good sport despite the fact that there is no baby in sight. I have a doctors appointment at 3pm today, so I'll update my preggo status later.

I will include one short Charlotte Meffe story from last night. As anyone who knows her knows, this small nine year old has big thoughts and feelings. Here is an example.

It was about 9:45 pm and Charlotte was (I thought) in bed. I heard light footsteps behind me and a big sigh. Sue enough, there was Charlotte headed back into her dark bedroom, 45 minutes past her bedtime. I followed her in, more than a little annoyed that she was still awake.

"Pup, what's up? You've gotta go to sleep."

Charlotte turns to me and it is quickly apparent that she's been crying pretty hard and for a while. Naturally my irritation quickly changes to concern.

"What's the matter?"

"I've been crying." Charlotte holds up her blue pillow which now features a large dark blue wet spot as proof.

Waiting for the baby has been a double edged sword of excitement and anxiety. As much as Rob and I try to shield Charlotte from the pre-term labor, trips to get monitored at the hospital, and the general concern about the delivery (especially because I'm older) Charlotte feels almost every bump with us, so I wasn't surprised to see the wet pillow. I expected her usual monologue about how long she's waited and that it's time for the baby to come out already, but this time she had a different thought on her mind.

"Mommy, I was thinking about a book I read. In it the main character describes the stars as lights in the night sky that are holes, and these holes are the pathways to heaven. The character describes them so beautifully, Mommy. She says she is holding on to the grass to keep from floating through one of those holes. Then, at the end of the book she very simply says that things get too hard and she lets go of the grass."

Charlotte started to cry. "I started thinking about you and that you are 40 and delivering this baby and that is scary. So, I prayed to god that you'll be safe. Please God, please let her hold onto the grass."

I walked over to the bed, took Charlotte in my arms and let her cry for a minute. Then I looked into her wet eyes and I promised, "I will hold onto the grass, I will hold onto you, I will hold onto this baby and we will be fine. I promise. I have a firm grip of the grass and I'm not going anywhere."

Our grass has deep roots and my daughter is a miracle. I kissed her goodnight, walked into the living room and cried at the depth of it all.

I will never look at the stars or grass in quite the same way, and I will hold on tight. I promise.

And Baby Makes 4

2007-09-05T14:53:00.000-04:00

Hi Everyone,

So here's some news...I'm going to have a baby! Yep, sure enough, for those of you that suspected Charlotte would be our "one and only" we are here to announce our soon-to-arrive 2nd child, due February 4th. Surprise!!

No one is happier than 9-year-old soon-to-be-big-sister Charlotte who has decided that we are waiting to find out the sex of the baby...she wants the big "IT'S A _______" moment in the delivery room. She says "She doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl as long as it's healthy."

More good news, I'm now at AVENUE Q in NYC through October 14th.

I'm off to do a press event for AVENUE Q at New York University, so I'm signing off, but I'll write more soon.

Catch ya later,

Sharon

I'm performing in AVENUE Q on Broadway

2007-08-23T15:32:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone,

So, you wanted to know, and here are the dates.

I'm performing as Mrs. T/Yellow Bear:

Thurday August 30th and Friday August 31st at 8pm as well as September 1st at 2 & 8.

Please visit www.avenueq.com for tickets, and if you'd like, stick around at the stage door so I can say hi!

Thanks so much for everyone's interest and encouragement!

Catch ya later,

Sharon

Welcome to AVENUE Q

2007-07-12T22:58:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends!

I'm delighted to announce that I'll be joining the Broadway cast of AVENUE Q this summer! I start rehearsals on July 23rd and I'll be sure to post when I'm going on, so check back if you are going to be in town and might like to come. I'll be in the cast until September 30th (it's a limited engagement) but I hope you'll swing by if you can. For tickets, please go to www.avenueq.com

Catch ya later,

Sharon

2007-06-01T16:16:00.000-04:00

The Broadway Bus

2007-05-18T00:56:00.000-04:00

There is a bus in Manhattan that runs from the UN to Columbia University, cutting across midtown on 42nd street and then stopping all up and down Broadway. This bus, for those of you who don't know New York City bus routes (which are very confusing), is called the M104.

But I call it the Broadway Bus.

Here's why I love the Broadway Bus. By day, it's just your typical crowded bus full of the riders who differ slightly from the underground subway crowd. These people are opting to avoid the numerous subway stairs; mainly elderly people and parents (or nannies) with young childern who sit backwards in the seat, faces pressed against the glass to watch the Midtown and Upper West Side sights go by.

But at night, Tuesday through Saturday around 10:00pm, the M104 transforms from a typical MTA bus to a magical shuttle as all the Broadway shows start to let out within a very small window of time. Double doors open and audiences spill out, glowing in the shared experience, clutching their Playbills, anxious to give their opinions of the costumes, the writing, the performances, and sometimes the music of the world they just visited. Stage doors burst open with actors and stage hands rushing to get to home after work to kiss their daughter, walk their dog or eat a late dinner. Bus stops from 42nd street to 54th street all along 8th avenue swarm with the Broadway crowd looking to return to the reality of their apartments or hotels along the M104 route. Once the bus comes, it takes forever to load and find a seat, but the wait is worth it. Once on, the audience and performers mix into one community--an audience member excitedly scanning their Playbills sitting shoulder to shoulder with actors with brightly painted stage makeup or freshly washed faces and hair that still bends in the circle from the pin curl it was held hostage in for three hours.

I love the Broadway Bus. I've ridden it many times as an actor, and just as often as an audience member. Last night I boarded the bus on 52nd and 8th after seeing TALK RADIO and ran into two good friends from CATS that I hadn't seen in years. As the bus jerked and swayed it's way to my stop, we caught up, laughed, kissed and hugged goodbye, all the while surrounded by people with Playbills from almost every show currently running on Broadway. From 10-11pm, Tuesday through Saturday, the M104 belongs to us, the Broadway community, and we press our faces to the windows, sharing the experience, watching our magical city roll by.

I think back to the yellow bus I took for years and I think wouldn't I be thrilled as a young teased girl to know that something as magical as a Broadway Bus appears every night for an hour and that I as a grown up would have the great privilege to be on board? It's more intoxicating than any carriage ride through Central Park could ever be.

Catch ya later.

Off and On

2007-05-06T10:11:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I blog, sometimes I don't. I'm sorry I haven't been better!

I hate excuses, but the truth is that I'm working on two new writing projects that take up a lot of time, both in research and in actual writing. Soon I'll be able to talk about them a little more, but for now I'm still in the creating phase.

Also, auditions have slowed down a little for me. It is typical that auditions have seasons, early spring is probably the hottest season as all of the regional/summer stock theaters are casting for their summer seasons. Broadway shows cast all year round, but they aren't as frequent (there are less of them). As I get more auditions, I'll continue to blog.

Rob got a big job, but I can't post the details until the offer is official, but I promise to break the news as soon as I can.

Okay! That's it for now. Catch ya later.

Match Game

2007-04-24T19:56:00.000-04:00

I'm spending an evening at home with my family. Right now Charlotte is practicing the piano, Rob is doing the dishes, a cool breeze is blowing in and I am writing. Today I wrote over 2000 words of my new book, so I'm a bit tired. This will be short.

Since I left you hanging, I thought I'd report in that my Monday audition went well, and I'm waiting to hear something. As an actor you wait a lot. You put it out there, do the best you can, and see if you are a match. It's a match game.

Thank goodness I already have some really good matches in my life who keep me sane in this business. It makes me think of a somewhat obscure Sondheim song called "What More Do I Need" all about living in New York and keeping things in perspective. With your love what more do I need?

The Flood and the Drought

2007-04-21T12:09:00.000-04:00

In the past two weeks there has been a flood and a draught.

In one day, New York City received its fourth largest amount of rain ever recorded. Our ceilings leaked, our mood was grey, we prayed for spring.

Two weeks ago I prayed for no auditions--nothing to interrupt my trip. The universe listened to me. I have had a drought. 2 weeks without an audition, maybe longer, I've lost track.

Today the floods and winter come to an end. There is sun and an expected high of 77.

And on Monday, the draught ends. I have an audition for Les Miserables. It will be the third time I have auditioned for Les Miz in my life, and twice I got the job. This time I have to be funny, which is (for me in Les Miz land) a first.

And the sun shines.

Catch ya later!

Seeing Les Miserables

2007-04-15T23:52:00.000-04:00

Today (rainy, rainy Sunday) Charlotte and I went to see Les Miserables on Broadway. We happened upon Adam Jacobs, the actor who plays Marius, as we walked by the stage door, and Charlotte took a picture with him.

I have to say, seeing Les Miz was fun and emotional on many levels. First of all, I love this show so much. If I could play any male role in the entire world, it would be Jean Valjean, but I'm equally happy that I played Eponine, Cosette and every female ensemble role. I was in Les Miserables from 1992-1996 (both on Broadway and on tour) and it was my first "big show". By big show I mean big paycheck, but it was much more than that...getting cast in Les Miserables at such a young age and so soon after moving to New York meant that I was not a fraud. I was not a fluke. I was valid, and talented, and not too fat to be onstage. It was everything I'd ever wanted.

For four years, I had the great fortune of having the music of Les Miserables as the sound track of my life. Seeing the show today--after such a long time--seeing the set I'd climbed on, the costumes I'd worn, and hearing the songs I'd sung, and watching the beautiful themes of Les Miz brought back a flood of memories. Memories of the show, yes, but more than that. Memories of what was happening in my life while I told this story 8 shows a week.

During the four years that I did Les Miserables on tour and on Broadway, I....
1) Got my Actor's Equity Card.
2) Lived in Los Angeles right after the riots.
3) Had ALL of my luggage and traveling worldly possessions stolen from the trunk of a rental car.
4) Traveled to almost every state in the country.
5) Got engaged.
6) Had my wisdom teeth out.
7) Got married.
8) Made my Broadway debut.
9) Lost 50 pounds and hit my all time lowest (adult) weight and was a size four.
10) Traveled to Europe on my honeymoon.
11) Lost my amazing grandmother, Meema.
12) Lived for three months in Singapore and performed the show there.
13) Endured the Northridge earthquake while playing Los Angeles.
14) Traveled to Hawaii and did the show there for three weeks.
15) Got pregnant.
16) Had a miscarriage.
17) Made five of my life long best friends.

As I sat in the dark watching the wonderful singing actors in Les Miserables, I saw it through new eyes; the eyes of my newly nine-year-old girl sitting transfixed beside me. This girl, my baby, who was amazingly now old enough to play Young Cosette.

As long as it’s been since I did Les Miz (11 years!), I was astounded to discover how vivid and immediate my memories are.

I remember every word of the show. Seriously, every word. And much more, every vocal part…every prop that gets handed off..how tight the corsets are...how funny the kids are off stage...the dumb lyrics we made up to the orchestrations as we changed clothes...even how I could fall asleep during the three minutes of Bring Him Home. I watched the women run off stage and I could picture their costume and make up change. The entrances and exits. The smell of the gun powder, the sound of the cannons. The exhaustion of a two show day when those two shows are three hours each (well, when I did it they were 3 hours and 20 minutes…but…it's still long).

By the end of the second act, as I watched the audience jump to their feet with applause in the black out—before the curtain call even started--I stood and cheered with them, and held my clapping, teary daughter up with pride.

Yes, Charlotte, I did that show. And I’m proud. So proud.

And the award goes to....

2007-04-11T14:01:00.000-04:00

Sorry!

I haven't blogged in a while. I've spent the past 6 days driving (or so it seems. New York/Cincinnati is a loooong trip!) Fortunately I had my very best travel buddy, Charlotte S. Meffe, who never once asked "Are we there yet?" She's kind of amazing, that kid of mine.

I’m pleased to say, I received my alum award. (See the blurry, terrible picture above). It was very nice to see my school (University of Cincinnati's College-Conservatory of Music) which has undergone a complete renovation since I attended. I was lost about 65% of the time, and kept asking really annoying things like "So was this our lounge? Was this the scene shop? Where did the vending machines go?"

All in all, I had a great time, I’m very flattered, and I’m proud to be a CCM grad!

2007 Young Alum

2007-04-07T11:47:00.000-04:00

I am proud to say that I am in Cincinnati receiving the 2007 Young Alumnae award from The University of Cincinnati's College-Conservatory of Music tonight. (Me? They like me! They really like me!)

Please note that "young" is part of the title (Yay!). Seriously, I am so flattered, but I don't have time to blog right now! The ceremony is in 8 hours and I have to look FABULOUS. I need to spend the next few hours finding the perfect something to accentuate my (fill in body part/facial feature here) and play down my (fill in body part here).

Ideally, this outfit will then morph into a perfect, much needed audition outfit. I need one, I have been known to wear overalls to auditions. Not good.

You see? All things come down to auditions. I even gave a masterclass at CCM yesterday--what did I spend my time doing? Telling audition stories. Typical! I'm obsessed!

I will take pictures, post them, and fill you all in later.

On the road again

2007-04-05T11:59:00.000-04:00

Charlotte and I struck out on our Spring Break journey (and so far, no auditions). Yay! I'll write more later tonight.

Thanks for checking in.

To leave, or not to leave. Every actor's nightmare.

2007-04-03T21:50:00.000-04:00

Unbelievable. I wrote an entry earlier today and as I was just finishing it—really liking it—excited to post it—my computer crashed. And yep, I lost the entire thing. Two hours of writing down the cyber drain. Oh wait, hold on, I have to save this (now I’m writing in my word program instead of my blog window so I can save as I go). Hold on…ah yes. Saved. Remind me to do that every once in a while, would you?

Can you believe that I actually wrote my entire book on this very computer that crashes? I’m not only going to continually save this document (save) but I am also going to save up my pennies for a new computer. The trouble is, as far as needing a new computer goes,I have to wait in line. Rob is keeping his computer together with strapping tape (true story).

Now I am going to try to recapture the magic. I specialize in recreating the same material 8 shows a week on stage, so I should be able to do a decent job in the rehash of my story for today. It went something like this. (Save).

Spring break.

It’s spring break and I am not in Jamaica. Or Florida. Or anywhere but here, on my couch, watching the clock, and agonizing over whether or not I can take my deserving school girl on a car trip to see my in-laws in Pennsylvania and then on to Cincinnati to visit my parents. (Save).

I am involved in every actor’s nightmare. To leave, or not to leave, that is the question.

Why? What’s the big deal about leaving Manhattan if I don’t have a job tying me down?
I’ll tell you in one word.

Auditions. And they come when you least expect it.

There seems to be some kind of tracking device on my car that tells casting directors when my car is outside of a 250 mile radius of Manhattan. It’s always the same. My tires hit the Ohio line, Charlotte and I are singing at the top of our lungs to Jesus Christ Superstar (it’s Easter week, after all. ((Save.)), and somewhere under the bag of baked Cheetos we got at the rest stop in Washington, PA, comes a sound that I know oh-so-well.

RING RING!!

It’s my cell phone, and it’s set on the loudest, most alarming, could hear even in the middle of a herd of stampeding elephants ring. The ring I have caller ID’ed to only one number. My agent.

Shit. (Save).

I race to turn down the radio, find the phone under the seat, not wreck, plug in my headset and answer before it goes to voice mail.

“Hello?”

“Sharon, it’s Craig. I have an audition for you for (fill in name of Broadway Show I’ve been dying to do) for the role of (fill in name of perfect dream role. The one I’ve been dying to be seen for, but could not get an audition. The role that everyone asks me if I’ve been seen for. But I haven’t. Until now. And I’m in Ohio)” Craig continues, “This is an emergency replacement, they are only seeing a few people, they called especially for you, and the audition is tomorrow.” (Save)

Cut to me saying “I’ll call you back” and then calling Rob who is, as always, completely helpful and accommodating, giving me advice (which is usually, do what you want but you should go. Advice I’d give me, too.) saying that he'll start checking flights and he'll call me back.

I look in the back seat and there are tears in Charlotte’s eyes. She’s been through this before. The vacation cut short or cancelled because I get an audition or last minute job that I have to do to cover the rent. My poor daughter who just wants to play with her cousins. “Don’t worry!!!” I tell those sad eyes in the rear view mirror. “I’ll figure it out!”

I’ll figure it out is my catch phrase. I should have it tattooed on my forehead. (Save).

I always do figure it out. It always means a last minute plane ticket, usually purchased on one day’s notice, so you can imagine the amazingly bad price we get. Delta LOVES it when we call, the last minute traveling suckers who will pay the jacked up fare. Most of the time, I travel to and from New York on the same day because Charlotte absolutely hates to spend the night anywhere with out me, and I’m not a Mom who will force her.

So, I get to my parent's house, kiss them hello, try to shove whatever song and scene I’m supposed to learn into my head all night, and then get up before dawn. I leave at the earliest crack of dawn, return on the latest flight that same night, and in this (save) exhausted, frazzled state that includes planes, cabs, warming up in the shower at 6 am and putting on make up in the cab from LaGuardia to Ripley Greer Studios, I show up for the audition.

And amazingly, sometimes I get the job. Which is, if you are wondering why, I (and most professional actors) would ever go through this in the first place. I booked AVENUE Q Las Vegas on a whirlwind trip back from New Hampshire, and (save) The Phantom of the Opera on a trip back from Toronto. Us actors, we’re good on the fly. It’s part of our genetic make up, part of the show-business-is-in-the-blood makeup. The show must go on.

It doesn’t always work out, though. Sometimes Mother Nature becomes a player and casts her vote. In February of this year I was in Cincinnati and I got a call to come in for two Broadway shows on back to back days. I cancelled all my engagements (I was teaching classes at my high school. (( Save)), bought a ticket, and then got completely fogged in. Pea soup. Couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. Cancelled flights, and me, sitting in the Cincinnati airport in my audition clothes calling my agent to say I can’t make it. “Can I come any other day? Can I come later today? The fog will eventually lift!” The answer? No. And to be honest, I never got another shot at it. Casting done. Young Frankenstein the musical--Mel Brooks--Susan Stroman. Mary Poppins with the entire creative team. Not for me. Not this time.

Crap.

So you see, this is why I sit on my couch and ask the fateful unemployed actor’s question. To leave? Or not to leave?

Catch ya tomorrow.

(Save.)

Controversy

2007-04-01T13:26:00.000-04:00

Okay, okay. I've only written one audition post so far, and already I'm swirling in controversy.

But, before I dive into this controversy head first, please allow me to point out that the comment on yesterdays blog from "anonymous" is from my mother. I don't have confirmation on that, but if you read it, you'll see what I mean. So, if you've read my book and wondered what my relationship is like with my Mom, read her comment. I'd also like to publicly congratulate "anonymous" on her recent graduation from college. Okay, it was a couple of years ago, but I didn't have a blog then, so WAY TO GO!! Hopefully "anonymous" with her new bachelor's degree will become a regular commenter.

Back to the regularly scheduled programming. We were talking controversy. Since it's a Sunday and I just watched all the Sunday morning political shows, I'm knee deep in controversy and ready for a fight. Of course, this has nothing to do with politics, but you understand what I'm going for here.

Yesterday, I had my husband Rob read my first official audition post. I was excited to see his reaction. I thought it was pretty fun, kind of a cute idea, you know, to blog about my auditions. God knows I go on enough of them, why not write about it? They are, generally speaking, hilarious to people who are sitting at a desk and do not regularly have to parade themselves in front of people sitting in folding chairs who make comments about your performance on a notepad. This was my set up to Rob before he read my blog. Let's have a few laughs at my expense and come away with a better understanding of how a Broadway show really gets cast (it does not happen like on "Grease, You're the One That I Want." Although, truth be told, I'd love to have America vote at my auditions. Fantastic.)

But Rob read it and he didn't think it was cute. He didn't think it was clever. And then, his friend Chris agreed. They asked me, in concerned tones,"Are you going to link it to your website? Will the readers of your book see it?"

"Of course," I replied, non plussed. Why shouldn't I? My readers have seen every other skeleton in my closet, why start holding back now? I did not understand their concern. Their furrowed brows. "Why?" I asked them.

"Well..." Chris went first, gently trying to explain. "It seems to me that it kind of flies in the face of what your book says. Your book is about your, you know, success. Your climb to the top. You overcame obstacles. Now you are going to write a blog that admits that you are currently unemployed. Don't you think that might send out a confusing message?"

I must have looked baffled so Rob took over. "They want to hear about your success, not your search for work. You have to create the illusion of success, even if you don't have a job. Nobody wants to hear about the reality of unemployment."

Huh?

I felt like they were speaking in a foreign language. I tried to wrap my brain around this concept. This idea of not telling the entire truth. The idea that people might think less of me because I am currently auditioning for work. Even worse, the idea that they worried my blog might just continue on for endless days, months or years...me continually blogging, unable to get a job. I tackled this first. "You know, I will eventually get a job. Look how close I get. Why just this week..."

They cut me off, "No, that's not what we are saying, OF COURSE you'll get a job! But, success breeds success. Focus on that, instead. That's all we are saying."

Hmmm.

I've thought about this for a solid 24 hours now. I thought about it all through the concert I sang in Bedford, NY (I'm resisting the urge to write "SEE, I CAN GET A JOB"). I thought about it before I went to sleep, and all through the Sunday news shows. Hmmm. Politics. Sunday news shows. Reality. Fiction. Which path to follow?

I think we have enough fiction in the world right now. We could use a dose of reality, and I, for one, am all about telling the truth about what is really going on.

I choose reality. BUT, part of my reality, is that I have worked (very hard!) all year, so to proclaim myself unemployed is false. My days are filled with book promotions, concerts, meetings, benefits and teaching. In many, many ways, my life is glamorous, and to portray it as empty or unfulfilled would be, itself, a big work of fiction.

So, in a nod to Rob and Chris, I will compromise. I will write all the good things that are going on in my life as well as the audition stories. Fair?

And, just to set the record straight, my state of unemployment is really my own fault. I was offered the National touring company of AVENUE Q, and I turned it down. It was a generous offer extended to both Rob and myself, but we didn't feel we could accept it at this time and take Charlotte out of school for the 4th grade. (Again it rears it's ugly head...SEE, I CAN GET A JOB!)

Maybe that's why I can talk about auditions with out a lot of resentment. I love to audition, and in reality, I get a lot of work. After all, reality or fiction, it's still always a great story.

Catch ya tomorrow.

Looking for Work; A year in the life of this Broadway actress

2007-03-31T11:22:00.000-04:00

Unemployment blows, I need something productive to do, and this is it. I am going to keep an audition journal. For the record, it has been 10 months and 3 days since I had regular employment.

What, exactly, is an audition journal? When I was in college, we took an audition class and they taught us to keep an audition journal of all the Facts of your audition.

Facts like:

Who was in attendance? (Not other actors in attendance, who was auditioning you in the room? Director? Producer? Music Director? Casting Director?) The idea behind this is so you can cross reference against future auditions to see if you are auditioning for the same person in the future. (Side note--I have to ask, why? So you can walk in the door and say "Hi! You didn't hire me the last time I auditioned for you on May 22, 2004, but maybe you'd like to cast me this time!" This seems, to me at least, like a spectacularly bad idea, unless you'd like to turn it into a drinking trivia game with your friends. Flash cards of directors that you hold up and scream "That's James Lapine! He didn't hire me for Into The Woods in 2003 and Spelling Bee in 2007!" Then, all the actors compare when they auditioned for James Lapine and whoever has actually worked for him has to pay for every one's drinks.)

What did you wear? The theory behind this is that if you have an audition and then get a callback, you need to wear the same thing so they remember you--"Hire the girl in the RED sweater!!" Good God! What if you change outfits, and you come back in a blue sweater and then, they hire someone else who is wearing YOUR red sweater?
Never gonna happen, (they have your pictures and resumes in front of them) but people become superstitious about it. You don't get hired for what you wear--no one writes down "great outfit!" although you can bet that they will write down if you ass looks big in your skirt. Then you come back in the same skirt and they say "Oh, right, she's got that big ass. Send in the next person."

Just to be fair, I do always wear the same thing to an initial audition and a callback, so I guess I fall into the superstitious crowd. BUT, I always wonder if my ass looks big in my skirt.

What did you sing? This is a good thing to remember, but usually, if you get a callback you are doing stuff from the show you are auditioning for. If you have something particular happen in the audition room, like Paul Gemignani says, "Don't ever sing that song again, it's terrible for you." You may want to remember that. Although, if very famous Broadway music director Paul Gemignani says that to you, you should rip that song out of your folder and throw it away before you even get in the elevator to go home. No need to write it down. By the way, that may sound extreme, but very famous Broadway music director Paul Gemignani did say that to a friend of mine, although I forget what the song was. If I remember, I'll tell you.

There are other things people write down or plug into their treos as we sit in the hall waiting to go into the room and strut our goods. I think it is just busy work--but I'm not a terribly organized person. If I can make it to my audition on time with my picture and resume stapled together, well, that is a major accomplishment.

This is not going to be that kind of audition journal.

I am going to talk about what happens in the audition room....it's like opening Pandora's Box.

First installment? Tomorrow. I will cover bits and pieces of the 4 auditions I had this past week. For today, I have to get dudded up and out the door. I'm singing a concert in Westchester tonight. I'll make a little money and hopefully sell some books, which sounds like fun. Catch ya tomorrow.

Charlotte Meffe Rules On her 9th Birthday

2007-03-23T16:07:00.000-04:00

Miss Otis Regrets

2007-03-08T22:02:00.000-05:00

Well, I 've been thinking about something.

A few weeks ago, I was speaking to a high school English class that had read my book, and one of the students asked me a simple question.

"Do you have any regrets? Specifically, do you regret anything about your book?"

I found (and continue to find) this question fascinating. I mean, I know it's not really fascinating, it's a simple question, and one that people ask all the time. But I don't think in terms of regrets. I usually think in terms of unbelievable gratitude. After all, a book deal basically fell out of the sky and landed in my lap. I've been on Broadway. I am happy in my 12 year (!) marriage and I have a smart, wonderful daughter who is brighter than sunshine. Then, someone thought my stories were worthy, they asked me to write it all down and they put in every book store in the country. I'm grateful. I don't have regrets.

But still, I kept wondering...do I regret anything? Let's be specific. Do I have any regrets about my book?

Yes. I do.

Most of my experience with the book was a joy. Some of it was funny (and slightly horrifying) like when I got a call that they wanted to call my book "My Name is Sharon Wheatley and I'm Fat." Seriously. Can you IMAGINE?? I said, "Uh, can I call you back?", had a short break down, and then came up with the current title, 'Til the Fat Girl Sings. This title is a compromise of their desire for an "in your face" title with the word "fat" in it, and my total loathing of the word fat (and belief that the word fat should NOT be in the title). 'Til the Fat Lady Sings is a common phrase and it was the best thing I could come up with. I wanted to call my book "Frozen Cupcakes" but no one liked that. Okay. I get it.

But this wasn't the biggest problem.

The biggest problem I had was a very strict word count from my publisher. I was asked to write my entire life story in 80,000 words. Trust me, when I first saw the number 80,000 on my contract I broke out in a cold sweat remembering 500 word essays for English when I'd write things like, "I really, really, really, really liked this book." And then count, 495, 496, 497, 498. Crap. Add "A lot!" Got it to 500. Whew!

But 80,000 words to get me from singing "Where is Love" in the 3rd grade to Avenue Q in 2006? Never gonna happen. Things were going to have to go. And they did. A lot of detail went down the drain.

That's what I regret, losing the detail.

When I was asked to write this book, well, there was no book. Usually, authors shop an already completed manuscript. This was not the case with me. I created an outline based on what they wanted, and I sent the book in a few chapters at a time. Maybe if I'd "shopped" a previously written manuscript, it would have gone differently, but I was asked to do it and I was thrilled (and stunned, and shocked and flattered and scared...you get the point!). (For me details on this, see the Broadway World article on the "news" page of my website.)

I had to figure out how to focus my book so I could give the publisher what they wanted, which was, in their words "A book which gives voice to the childhood obesity epidemic" while still telling my own story. I decided the only way to do it was to focus on my body--what my body looked like, what was said about my body, how I felt about my body, how my body was an obstacle, and finally, what happened to my body. My first draft came in 5 months later at about 120,000 words. We trimmed. We chopped. Entire chapters, some of my favorites, ended up gone. Major characters were whittled away. I was told, "Keep the focus on you, Sharon." Big chunks of high school--gone. Most things about my parents--gone. Somehow in the chopping, my mother's character lost her warmth and humor. I only saw that later, and I regret that. I'm
sorry, Mom.

Then for the final draft, "We need to re-vamp the end of the book. The first part is too sad, so we need to give the reader a better pay off. We need more Broadway and more about your life now." I was thrilled, I could write about meeting my husband, about the birth of my daughter. How many more words do I get? None. We have to chop things from the beginning. My grandmother, Meema--gone. The story about my Dad at McDonalds, a story my editor liked so much that she xeroxed it and sent it around the office? Gone. It was very hard to tell my Dad the McDonalds story was gone.

You may wonder why I didn't take a stand? Demand more words? I couldn't--I'm a first time author. Please refer back to "grateful" at the top of the post. I rocked the boat as hard as I could, but I didn't want to get the deal canceled, capisce?

Another kind of bizarre thing, is that the book, essentially, ends in 1999, even though I wrote it in 2005-2006. This is, simply put, because I ran out of words.

So what is my BIGGEST regret? That there is hardly any of my daughter in the book. But then again, she deserves her own book, which I have always said would be called "The Adventures of Cookie and Sally" Cookie and Sally are Charlotte's imaginary friends and they go on wild world travels and they each have dozens of kids. Cookie is made of (naturally) cookie, and Sally is made of Jello (green).

So, to put it simply, I am very grateful for the opportunities given to me, but I wish I'd been given more words. I really, really, really, really, really do. A lot.

Giving Thanks For All The Reader Letters

2007-03-02T21:16:00.000-05:00

Since my book was released on June 1st, I’ve received hundreds of letters from readers. I have to say, I'M SHOCKED!! It wasn’t my intention to inspire people by writing a book…I was just asked to sit down and write my life story, ya know? But what a great thing this is, an unexpected but wonderful community created by my book. So often I hear that someone “passed my book along” to their daughter, their mother, their cousin, their best friend, and there really is no better compliment. Thank you. In addition, I’m flattered that people take the time to write me, and you know what? I’ve learned a lot from the letters I’ve received. Over and over again I hear the same things.

*That many people went through what I went through as a kid.

*That we need better role models for young women.

*That many of us have spent years feeling like we are half a person because we have a larger waistline.

*That too many people have sacrificed their dreams because they felt certain they were too unattractive to succeed.

Well, here. Rather than paraphrase, I’ll give you a little sampling of the letters. With a couple of exceptions (involving people who gave me permission), I’m changing names or identifying characteristics to protect everybody. Enjoy!

This was one of my favorites. It’s from Emily Skinner, Tony award nominee and all around fabulous performer and person…

"YOU HAVE WRITTEN THE MOST ENGAGING AND LOVELY MEMOIR OF WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE AN EVOLVING SELF. YOU REMINDS US THAT WORRYING ABOUT BEING A SIZE TWO IS A WASTE OF TIME AND ENERGY---THAT TRUE FULFILMENT COMES WITH FOCUSING ON YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND THE WORK THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. AS A PERFORMER, I CONSTANTLY STRUGGLE WITH THE IDEA THAT I SHOULD LOOK AND BE A CERTAIN WAY. BUT THIS TERRIFIC BOOK PROVES ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT IT IS HUMANITY, SKILL, TALENT, AND HUMOR THAT MAKES ONE RICH AS A PERFORMER, NOT DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIT A CERTAIN BOGUS PHYSICAL IDEAL. YOU SHOW US THAT IF YOU HAVE ALL OF THOSE THINGS, YOU CAN MOST DEFINITELY HAVE A CAREER IN THE THEATER, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS. MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT MEANS YOU'RE A REALLY NEAT HUMAN BEING...."

Here’s a sampling of more….

… I read the whole thing last night (yes, I'm a nerd) and I loved it. I can't tell you how many times I laughed out loud! And when you're by yourself in your room, with no one to hear you, and you still belly laugh...that's when you know it's good.

…Ms.Wheatley, I just finished your book " 'Til the Fat Girl Sings" and-- "Wow"! I read it just as fast as I could, a day and a half-ish. I couldn't decide if I wanted to tear through it and see what was on the next page or savor each word. For once I do not feel simply fat and alone!

…I just felt so wonderful reading your book to be able to identify with someone who made it so big in the industry and know that not everything was coming up roses while you were growing up. Thank you for being so open and honest and helping so many others with big dreams and letting us understand how to love the beauty within ourselves. Best of luck to you.

… You don't know me. And actually I have never been inspired to write to an author of a book I was reading until this moment. Why on earth am I telling you this, I don't know? I guess because I have been keeping it inside of me and wanted to tell someone who might understand.

… I opened it and did not put it down until I finished the entire thing. I, too, was a fat child and am still a fat adult. I've shared so many of the same experiences as you, and reading the book was like taking a look into my own childhood. What's more, your words have really inspired me to take positive action in my career.

… Sharon, I just bought your book as a gift for my daughter's birthday today. She turns eighteen. I feel certain that I was drawn to it for a reason. You see, she is overweight, hates herself for every possible reason and is so lost.

…People say I am cute... I don't want to be cute, I want to be beautiful. I know, I have to be happy with me, but it is so hard when all I hear is "Beached Whale", or my parents saying are you sure you should be eating that?

…Like you, I grew up with a thin mother only she never diets and eats horribly. Much of my relationship with her is based on her approval of my weight and appearance and it still continues even though I am 31!

…You are helping more people than you know by having written this book. :-) I know you helped me.

…OMG! I read your book and with every word my heart began to sing, "Yes! There is hope!" I am an aspiring Broadway actress who at the moment has everyone convinced that I am dying to become a music teacher.

…Hi Sharon, it's strange, but I feel like I know you! I was walking through Barnes and Noble the other day and I noticed something that looked like a playbill on the table with all of the new books. I walked over and picked it up. As soon as I read the title, I knew it would be for me. I have not only been overweight for quite a while now, but I absolutely love Broadway more than life itself! I sat down, with my bag of pretzels of course, and started reading your story. After a box of tissues (tears from laughing and crying), a bag of pretzels, and three hours, I finished your book. I found it brilliant!

… I had never considered before how many similarities there are to growing up gay and growing up overweight.

…i will be 15 in october, and i am very much involved in musical theater. i have been overweight my entire life and have struggled with self esteem issues. i have gone through the same things you did in your book and it was almost funny reading it because it was so much like me.

… I have struggled (battled? been through hell and back?) with my weight since I hit puberty and found so many similarities with what I went through and what you went through that I was shaking my head in wonder and understanding just about every page of the way.

Thanks for reading all of these. I hope you had as much fun as I've had. There are many more letters I didn't quote, but I've read and answered everyone of them. Thanks to everyone who has written me, keep them coming!

I'll finish with the quote I get the most often, and always cracks me up when I read it.

…SHARON WHEATLEY HOW DID WE HAVE THE SAME LIFE?????

I'm coming to Cincinnati!

2007-02-09T17:25:00.000-05:00

Hi,

If you are in the greater Cincinnati area, I'll be doing two events in February. Please support these two terrific events which greatly benefit high school students in the arts.

On Friday February 23rd, I'll be singing a benefit concert at The Cincinnati Art Museum for Ursuline Academy.

For tickets and information, please visit www.Ursulineacademy.org

(From their website)

Ursuline Academy Music Boosters present Starry Starry Night, a benefit evening of musical entertainment. This first annual event will be held Friday, February 23, 2007 at 8:00 pm at the Cincinnati Art Museum.

Headlining this evening will be Ursuline Alumna and Broadway Singer/Actress Sharon Wheatley. Performances by Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra members
and other Ursuline Academy Alumni will round out the concert.

On Saturday February 24th I'll be hosting The Overture Awards at The Aronoff Center.

For tickets and information, please visit www.cincinnatiarts.org

(From their website)

The Overture Awards is a scholarship competition and academy that recognizes, encourages and rewards excellence in the arts among Tri-State students in grades 9-12. Its mission is to encourage arts education as an integral part of a student’s academic experience and to create an environment that encourages training in, and appreciation of, the arts.The Overture Academy is open to all Tri-state students at no cost. Master classes and workshops are taught by professional artists. Students may also attend seminars on audition techniques, submitting work for writers and visual artists, college admission and choosing a career path.The Overture Awards Competition is the Tri-state’s largest solo arts competition for high school students and offers scholarships in six artistic disciplines: Creative Writing, Dance, Instrumental Music, Theater, Visual Art, and Vocal Music. Students may win a $2,500 scholarship (one awarded in each discipline) or a $500 finalist scholarship (total of 18 awarded). Judges at all levels of the competition are drawn from the professional arts community.

In addition, I'll be teaching masterclasses at Ursuline Academy (my high school), St. Xavier High School, and at University of Cincinnati's College-Conservatory of Music (my college).

2007 begins

2007-01-02T14:33:00.000-05:00

Right now I am procrastinating. Well, procrastinating and also hiding. Please don't tell my husband Rob. He thinks I am going through boxes and organizing. In truth, the cat and I are hiding behind the boxes and I am writing this.

Currently, I am unemployed for a while and Rob is still on break from teaching at Pace University, and in our boredom, we tend to deal with things differently. I watch TV and talk on the phone and try not to constantly eat. Rob, on the other hand, goes into hyper speed. In fact, except for sleeping, I don't think he has sat down since we got out of the car at 6pm last night. I think it's called being PROACTIVE. And I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to do it too.

And now, I would like to list everything Rob and I have done in the 20 hours we have been home from Christmas break.

1. We drove 7 hours in the rain, got a perfect parking spot in front of our apartment and began to unpack our extremely-squished-full-of-presents car. I wanted to leave things down in the hall for a while and slowly carry them up the 5 flights of steps over the course of an hour. Yes, you read that right. 5 flights of steps. I though this was reasonable (who wants to have a heart attack on the first day of the new year?) and I didn't say what I really wanted to do, which was hire someone to carry everything up 5 flights of steps. In our unemployed state, I didn't think Rob would go for it. In fact, he didn't go for the "let's slowly carry things up" idea either. Nope--we huffed and puffed all of Santa's sleigh up the 92 steps. I kept yelling for Prancer and Dancer and Comet and Vixen to please come help, but I'm pretty sure they went to Jamaica.

2. We took down the Christmas tree. This was actually a necessity considering that there were only about 6 needles left on the tree and HUGE FIRE HAZARD was dancing like visions of sugar plums through my head. So, within a half an hour of unloading, Rob carried the item formerly known as our Christmas tree down the 5 flights of steps and out onto the street.

3. Rob set up his new website http://www.broadwaymp3.com/ where he will play an audition song onto an mp3 file for all us wanna be actors to download onto our ipods and learn for auditions. He even set up a pay pal account. While he was being wildly productive and opening his own business, I set up the playstation 2 and played we love katamari.

4. Rob took Charlotte to school at 8:15, and then he and I got back in the car and drove to Whole Foods in Ft. Lee, NJ where we stocked up on all of our New Years resolution foods. While we pushed the cart around the store, I mentioned something blah, blah, blah exercise, blah, blah, blah, we should do it....and as soon as we got back to our apartment (yes...and carried the $250 worth of groceries up, up, up the 5 flights of stairs) Rob goes and changes into sweat pants. "For what?" I asked. "To go exercise. Like you said." He replies. Did I say that????? Wasn't carrying up the groceries exercise? So, we go to the park and actually go RUNNING around the reservoir. He was totally exhilarated. I called my two closest friends to tell them this miracle had actually occurred and I'd even lived to call them.

5. After a quick and healthy lunch, Rob showers and decides it's time to tackle the reorganization of out life. Ugh. So, I pack up the Christmas decorations, and he starts on Charlotte's room, specifically her closet. Box after box comes out--the very boxes I am now hiding behind.

The cat has retreated to the couch where she is in a deep sleep, all curled up in a ball. As tempted as I am to join her, I guess I'll sign off for now and try to keep putting one foot in front of the other until somebody calls me with a job. That's the only way out of this.

Here's to a healthy, organized, employed 2007!

And all that actor jazz

2006-12-18T22:26:00.000-05:00

Here are my new head shots, shot by Jordan Matter.

There is a new trend in New York to have color head shots instead of the age-old black and whites. It looks strange to me, but they've become a necessity. In truth, I guess they've started to grow on me, I actually like that they show my eye color. In my opinion, getting head shots taken and then choosing the correct shot ranks #1 on the narcissism barometer. It's a lot of looking at yourself, scrutinizing every pore, and then asking your friends to do the same.

I am in such a weird business.

I found out that I didn't get an acting job I really wanted today and I am having an "I'm going to quit the business" day. These days, the "I'm going to quit the business" days are very common among most actors, and they always seem to follow an unsuccessful audition. There's nothing worse than getting very close to a job and then finding out you didn't get it. On these days it's like getting the flu--you catch it for a few days, there's nothing you can do to get rid of it, and you have to just let it run it's course. I find the best remedy is a phone call from my agent that I have another big audition for a show that I'm "perfect"for.

I sometimes wonder if I'll ever really quit the business. My friends tease me "You always say your quitting the business! You'll never do it!"

The truth is that they are right. Even though I get the "I'm going to quit the business" flu, the truth is that I honestly love what I do for a living, even when it hurts, feels unfair, and threatens to decimate my self esteem. If I didn't love it, I don't know who I'd be. That's just who I am. Sharon Wheatley, actress.

Besides, I can't quit the business. I have a stack of 200 brand new, bright and shiny color head shots.
Okay. I'll give it 200 headshots longer. More or less.

It's A New Day and a New Blog

2006-11-29T16:23:00.000-05:00

People say to me "Sharon, why don't you ever update your Blog?" And I say, "Good question. Don't know. Guess I'll do it when I'm ready."

Sometimes when I want to work out more I go out and buy new workout clothes. When I want to Blog more frequently I redesign my blog. Does this theory make sense to anyone but me? So, welcome to my new and improved Blog. Okay--my skills are limited, but it's better than it was.

Allow me to step up onto my soap box. I think, because I wrote a book, I put a lot of pressure on myself to have an arc to my blog writing. It must be well developed, have a beginning, a middle and an end and ultimately have a theme. A little morsel for the reader to take with them as they float back out into cyber space.

I think this kind of perfectionism is slowing me up, so I'm not gonna do it. I'm not. Can't make me. But be warned...this may just be dribble. A frothy way to pass the time, kinda like watching a Friends rerun for the 49th time. What are you going to get out of it? Maybe nothing. But still, it's a fun way to pass the time.

Okay...what did I do today? First of all, I went off my diet. It's so stupid that I was even on a diet to begin with. I wrote an entire book about self acceptance and overcoming weight issues...I even give my clothing size in my book (I'm a 12). See, I just did it again. No one wants people to know their size, but I tell everyone. I'm a size 12, size 12, size 12. Hi! My name is Sharon and I'm a size 12. I used to be a size four, but I was also a size 22. Now I'm a 12. How are you?

So I quit eating flour and sugar for about 6 weeks because I found some book called The No Sugar, No Flour Diet. I actually paid $14.95 of my hard earned unemployment money on this book, just to find out that all the information I needed was on the cover. No flour, no sugar. That's the diet. I didn't even have to open the book. I didn't even need to take it off the shelf. All the information was right there for me on the cover. But, I buy things. That's what I do. God Bless America.

So, I went off sugar and flour mostly because my friend Brynn has started to eat only raw food and that seems so healthy...I didn't want to go raw (that's just CRAZY...I need things COOKED!) but I decided that I did need to be healthier and I love sugar and flour. Especially together... my favorite food is a chocolate cupcake. A sugar and flour festival.

So I starved myself off of sugar and flour, and it was hard. HARD, I tell you! Halloween was torture. After a while, I was so proud of myself for cutting out sugar and flour that I started to add things in...things that aren't sugar or flour....like potatoes (meaning french fries) and corn (meaning tortilla chips). Brynn eats nuts all the time and she's skinny...I think I'll eat nuts...you get the point, and you won't be surprised by the outcome. Yeah, I didn't lose any weight. Not a pound.

So to say that I "went off" my diet is actually deceiving considering that I eliminated french fries and tortilla chips and put back cereal and light bread.

This is why I don't diet anymore. I'm a lunatic.

So the other thing I did today (after having a "light" English muffin--which tasted sooo good) was I had an audition for THE LITTLE MERMAID which is soon to be on Broadway. I don't know when it's coming to Broadway--don't ask me--if I get the job I'll see the dates on my contract and until then I don't need to know. I think I did well--I don't want to speculate--but I sang three songs and I was told that I was "very entertaining." I'll keep you posted on the outcome.

Tomorrow I am off to Moravian College in Bethlehem PA to do a speaking engagement. I'm very excited to go--Bethlehem should be all decked out for Christmas and the campus looks gorgeous from the website. I am going to speak about bringing out the best qualities of yourself. I think my best quality is that I can say "I am a proud size 12 and occasionally I love a good chocolate cupcake."

The world according to Google. My book is a "Best Summer Read"

2006-07-20T23:23:00.000-04:00

Are you looking for a good beach read? According to The Wall Street Journal, my book is a great choice to take on your summer vacation.

Imagine my surprise when one morning a couple of weeks ago, I Googled the title of my book (Despite a nagging feeling of "this is incredibly self centered" I do this every morning just to see what's going on--if a newspaper has reviewed me, if my picture showed up on a Broadway website, or most likely--if Oprah decided to book me on her show without telling my publicist--okay, a girl can dream.) ANYWAY, there I sat in my little sublet on the east side of Manhattan in a pre-coffee haze, when low and behold, under 'Til the Fat Girl Sings, up comes....
ABC News: Beach Reads: Hot New Books for the Summer
I suddenly perked up as if I'd had a double shot latte. ABC? BEACH READ? HOT NEW BOOKS? Why was this coming up? Google must be wrong. I blinked. I clicked.
According to Google, I was selected by The Wall Street Journal as one of the best summer reads among such famous authors as Anne Tyler, John Updike, James Patterson, Robin Cook, Julia Child, Alex Prud'Homme and many others including ME...Sharon Wheatley. AND the books had been featured on Good Morning America. AND (according to Google) I had missed it.

Seriously? How do you miss your book on Good Morning America? I fired off an e-mail to my trusty publicist Beth, and I received a quick answer, an out-of-office reply. She was on vacation. So was my editor. So was my agent. So was, apparently, everyone! My inbox was full of infuriating "Out of Office" replies. How could everyone be on vacation the day my book turned up in a mystery listing that had something to do with Good Morning America and The Wall Street Journal? Then I thought about it--what was the date? Oh wait, it was the fourth of July. Everyone with any good sense was on a beach (hopefully reading my book!) unlike my husband and my daughter and I...we were pounding the steamy pavement trying to find an affordable apartment in the concrete jungle we call home--Manhattan. Not the place that pops to mind as an "ideal" fourth of July get-away.

When everyone returned from vacation, it turns out my Google information was accurate. I had, indeed, been selected for the list. As a first time author, I am honored to be selected, and as an avid "Googler" I leave you with this thought. Go for it--Google your name! You just might be surprised what comes up--and it will never, ever, be an "out of office" reply.

An Excerpt From TIL THE FAT GIRL SINGS

2006-05-10T13:18:00.000-04:00

“Sharon, I have an audition for you.”
My agent, Penny, talked at lightning speed, and I knew from past experience that she would not slow down or repeat the information. I looked around frantically and grabbed the nearest writing supplies: a purple crayon and a Cinderella coloring book.
Calls from Penny were few and far between after I got pregnant. Which didn’t surprise me then, but now, a year after I’d had Charlotte, I was still having trouble getting auditions. There are thousands of actors in New York City, and getting auditions is always tough—but I’d heard through the grapevine that most producers didn’t believe I’d accept work, assuming that I’d prefer to stay home with the baby. I’d planned on being a working mom, and I hate it when people make assumptions, so I made a point of pride to go to every audition I was offered, no matter what it was.
“What’s it for?” I asked, crayon poised.
“The Broadway production of Cats. Jennyanydots, the Gumbie Cat.”
“Mmm-hmm.” I wrote Cats Broadway Jennysomething next to Cinderella’s pumpkin. I knew very little about Cats except that it was a dance show that had been running on Broadway forever. As primarily a singing actor, I never thought I’d get an audition for it, so I’d never paid it any mind. But any Broadway audition is a good thing, and I was desperate for a steady job.
“Your audition is on Tuesday, May 31, at 10 a.m. at the Winter Garden Theater. Bring two contrasting songs, and be prepared to dance.”
“Dance?” I stopped writing. “I have to dance?” I was thrilled at the idea of auditioning at the famous Winter Garden Theater, but that one terrible little word caused my heart to race.
“It’s Cats.” Penny sighed her I hate stupid actors sigh. “That’s what the cats do. They dance. Now, there will be a jazz combination followed by a tap combination, and then they will make a cut. Those asked to stay will sing and then dance again. They said to be prepared to—”
“I have to dance two combinations, and then there’s a cut?”
“Yes.” Sigh again. “That’s what they said.”
I’d been to dance auditions before, but only after I’d had the chance to win them over with my acting and singing first. Called “movement” calls, these post-singing dance auditions are filled with a bunch of nervous singers in dance clothes unworn since theater school. Movement calls are pretty easy, since the choreographer is just checking to make sure that we won’t fall down. Usually the “dancing” is simple, limited to a “step, touch” while we snap our fingers.
But this wasn’t a movement call. This was Cats—real live Broadway dancing—and I’d have to dance first. I’d have to buy real dance clothes, crawl around on the stage, and remember complicated dance combinations that I didn’t have the skills to execute.
“I can’t do this.” The real dancers would trample me. I pictured myself in a lumpy, sweaty mess on the stage. “You know I don’t turn down auditions, especially for Broadway, but I’ll make a total ass out of myself. Tell them thanks, but no thanks.”
“You should go.” Penny was adamant.
“They’ll never hire me. They’re looking for a dancer.”
“It’s a job on Broadway,” Penny said. “You could be home with Charlotte.”
I knew Penny was frustrated with me, but that couldn’t be helped. “I’m not what they’re looking for. This would be a waste of time.”
I hung up, feeling depressed. It had been so hard getting auditions lately, and it killed me to have to turn something down—especially a job on Broadway. The phone rang again. It was Penny, talking faster than ever in her I have important information speed. “Okay, look. I called and told them you said no, and they said they want you to come in anyway. Apparently dance skills aren’t that important. They are looking for personality.”
“Penny, you know why I can’t do this audition.” It was my turn to sigh. “I’m too fat to be a cat!”
“What are you talking about?” Penny sounded astounded. “You look great! You’ve lost all your baby weight.”
True, but this was different. This was Cats. The cast members had a median weight of about twenty-seven pounds and they’d been in dance class since the age of two. These cats wore slinky, figure-hugging spandex from head to toe. Even at my prebaby thinnest, I didn’t have a gorgeous dancer body worthy of display in spandex. “Cats is different.”
“Okay,” said Penny in her I’m staying calm with this neurotic actor voice. “You have some weird hang-ups about this. I’m going to call back and tell them you’re coming. You spend the weekend clearing your head. If you really don’t think you can do it, I’ll call and cancel on Monday.” I heard the phone ring in her office.
“I’ve got to get that. Talk to you Monday.” And she hung up.
I pushed the off button and resisted the urge to throw my phone out the window. I looked at Charlotte, who was trying to force a square toy from her shape sorter into a round hole. She banged it over and over again, and then grunted in frustration. “Hey kiddo, try this.” I flipped the toy and showed her the match, the square hole. Charlotte grabbed the toy and went back to her square peg–round hole combination, banging it over and over again, trying to make it fit. I gave her a big kiss and said, “Oh, baby. I know just how you feel.”

Growing up fat

2005-05-02T00:00:00.000-04:00

I taught classes at a high school in Cincinnati last week. English classes, of all things, not drama or music, as some of my former teachers might have expected. The classes were working on revisions, and so am I, working on revising my fat child years into a "meaningful and motivational book" which is not easy when it all seemed so bleak for so long. But as I do, I digressed, and the classes wanted to hear my stories, which I told with gusto. I, for the day, was the teacher we all loved to get off track.

The first thing I said to them, was "Do not be decieved by the adult me, the flashy Broadway credits, the fact that I live in Manhattan, that I'm married with a child, that I'm wearing groovy pink shoes, and that I'm a reasonable weight (not thin, not really fat). It's all smoke and mirrors. In reality, I was you. When I was a student in high school, I sat in the back of the class, I weighed somewhing over 220 pounds (I stopped weighing myself...who wants to know any more than that?) and I graduated 120th out of a class of 124." The kids thought that was a riot, that I was such a rotten student, and I explained how thrilled I was not to be 124th out of 124. A huge accomplishment, considering my senior year grades. I told them about my troubles, not my triumphs, the fighting parents, the lying, the cheating, the things I did that seemed to prevent any success in my future. I told them, life is the choices you make, and just because you might feel rotten now, at this moment in your desk, I'm here to tell you that I felt rotten a lot of the time too. A different generation, but the same feelings.

I urged them to make choices. Choose to do more, not less, choose to go big, not small, choose to try.

I got a post back from a student that day, and she told me her troubles, some of them, and I hope that my book helps her. I tried to write her back, but I'm limited to this blog. So listen up. You will be okay. What your parents say to you (or don't say to you) is not the only stuff about you that is true. Find the true stuff, the good stuff about you, and hang onto it. That's your job. Oh, and do your homework, I wish I'd done a little more of mine!

The Overture

2005-04-15T21:46:00.000-04:00

Tell me your stories.

I want to hear from people who were teased as a kid. I know that covers a lot of people, but I want the kids who suffered for it, you know who you are, tell me your stories.

These are the stories I like to tell, and those are the stories I like to hear.

Tell me how you got beyond it, over it, through it, I want to know. I want to help the kids who are still there, being teased in the classroom, and feeling awful in about 97 different ways. The kids who think they have nothing to offer. I want to hear from the adults who still feel a zing in their stomach when they hear the word "fat" and wonder if it is being directed at them.

My story goes like this....Once upon a time I weighed over 220 pounds and I thought I'd either grow up to work at the Hostess Cupcake store and have to be lifted out of my house with a crane because I was so huge, or become a nun so I could wear a shapeless black frock that covered my hugeness from head to toe. I was neither. Instead, amazingly, I became a dancing Cat on Broadway. That's the story I tell. More soon.