Controversy

Okay, okay. I've only written one audition post so far, and already I'm swirling in controversy.

But, before I dive into this controversy head first, please allow me to point out that the comment on yesterdays blog from "anonymous" is from my mother. I don't have confirmation on that, but if you read it, you'll see what I mean. So, if you've read my book and wondered what my relationship is like with my Mom, read her comment. I'd also like to publicly congratulate "anonymous" on her recent graduation from college. Okay, it was a couple of years ago, but I didn't have a blog then, so WAY TO GO!! Hopefully "anonymous" with her new bachelor's degree will become a regular commenter.

Back to the regularly scheduled programming. We were talking controversy. Since it's a Sunday and I just watched all the Sunday morning political shows, I'm knee deep in controversy and ready for a fight. Of course, this has nothing to do with politics, but you understand what I'm going for here.

Yesterday, I had my husband Rob read my first official audition post. I was excited to see his reaction. I thought it was pretty fun, kind of a cute idea, you know, to blog about my auditions. God knows I go on enough of them, why not write about it? They are, generally speaking, hilarious to people who are sitting at a desk and do not regularly have to parade themselves in front of people sitting in folding chairs who make comments about your performance on a notepad. This was my set up to Rob before he read my blog. Let's have a few laughs at my expense and come away with a better understanding of how a Broadway show really gets cast (it does not happen like on "Grease, You're the One That I Want." Although, truth be told, I'd love to have America vote at my auditions. Fantastic.)

But Rob read it and he didn't think it was cute. He didn't think it was clever. And then, his friend Chris agreed. They asked me, in concerned tones,"Are you going to link it to your website? Will the readers of your book see it?"

"Of course," I replied, non plussed. Why shouldn't I? My readers have seen every other skeleton in my closet, why start holding back now? I did not understand their concern. Their furrowed brows. "Why?" I asked them.

"Well..." Chris went first, gently trying to explain. "It seems to me that it kind of flies in the face of what your book says. Your book is about your, you know, success. Your climb to the top. You overcame obstacles. Now you are going to write a blog that admits that you are currently unemployed. Don't you think that might send out a confusing message?"

I must have looked baffled so Rob took over. "They want to hear about your success, not your search for work. You have to create the illusion of success, even if you don't have a job. Nobody wants to hear about the reality of unemployment."

Huh?

I felt like they were speaking in a foreign language. I tried to wrap my brain around this concept. This idea of not telling the entire truth. The idea that people might think less of me because I am currently auditioning for work. Even worse, the idea that they worried my blog might just continue on for endless days, months or years...me continually blogging, unable to get a job. I tackled this first. "You know, I will eventually get a job. Look how close I get. Why just this week..."

They cut me off, "No, that's not what we are saying, OF COURSE you'll get a job! But, success breeds success. Focus on that, instead. That's all we are saying."

Hmmm.

I've thought about this for a solid 24 hours now. I thought about it all through the concert I sang in Bedford, NY (I'm resisting the urge to write "SEE, I CAN GET A JOB"). I thought about it before I went to sleep, and all through the Sunday news shows. Hmmm. Politics. Sunday news shows. Reality. Fiction. Which path to follow?

I think we have enough fiction in the world right now. We could use a dose of reality, and I, for one, am all about telling the truth about what is really going on.

I choose reality. BUT, part of my reality, is that I have worked (very hard!) all year, so to proclaim myself unemployed is false. My days are filled with book promotions, concerts, meetings, benefits and teaching. In many, many ways, my life is glamorous, and to portray it as empty or unfulfilled would be, itself, a big work of fiction.

So, in a nod to Rob and Chris, I will compromise. I will write all the good things that are going on in my life as well as the audition stories. Fair?

And, just to set the record straight, my state of unemployment is really my own fault. I was offered the National touring company of AVENUE Q, and I turned it down. It was a generous offer extended to both Rob and myself, but we didn't feel we could accept it at this time and take Charlotte out of school for the 4th grade. (Again it rears it's ugly head...SEE, I CAN GET A JOB!)

Maybe that's why I can talk about auditions with out a lot of resentment. I love to audition, and in reality, I get a lot of work. After all, reality or fiction, it's still always a great story.

Catch ya tomorrow.