Unemployment blows, I need something productive to do, and this is it. I am going to keep an audition journal. For the record, it has been 10 months and 3 days since I had regular employment.
What, exactly, is an audition journal? When I was in college, we took an audition class and they taught us to keep an audition journal of all the Facts of your audition.
Facts like:
Who was in attendance? (Not other actors in attendance, who was auditioning you in the room? Director? Producer? Music Director? Casting Director?) The idea behind this is so you can cross reference against future auditions to see if you are auditioning for the same person in the future. (Side note--I have to ask, why? So you can walk in the door and say "Hi! You didn't hire me the last time I auditioned for you on May 22, 2004, but maybe you'd like to cast me this time!" This seems, to me at least, like a spectacularly bad idea, unless you'd like to turn it into a drinking trivia game with your friends. Flash cards of directors that you hold up and scream "That's James Lapine! He didn't hire me for Into The Woods in 2003 and Spelling Bee in 2007!" Then, all the actors compare when they auditioned for James Lapine and whoever has actually worked for him has to pay for every one's drinks.)
What did you wear? The theory behind this is that if you have an audition and then get a callback, you need to wear the same thing so they remember you--"Hire the girl in the RED sweater!!" Good God! What if you change outfits, and you come back in a blue sweater and then, they hire someone else who is wearing YOUR red sweater?
Never gonna happen, (they have your pictures and resumes in front of them) but people become superstitious about it. You don't get hired for what you wear--no one writes down "great outfit!" although you can bet that they will write down if you ass looks big in your skirt. Then you come back in the same skirt and they say "Oh, right, she's got that big ass. Send in the next person."
Just to be fair, I do always wear the same thing to an initial audition and a callback, so I guess I fall into the superstitious crowd. BUT, I always wonder if my ass looks big in my skirt.
What did you sing? This is a good thing to remember, but usually, if you get a callback you are doing stuff from the show you are auditioning for. If you have something particular happen in the audition room, like Paul Gemignani says, "Don't ever sing that song again, it's terrible for you." You may want to remember that. Although, if very famous Broadway music director Paul Gemignani says that to you, you should rip that song out of your folder and throw it away before you even get in the elevator to go home. No need to write it down. By the way, that may sound extreme, but very famous Broadway music director Paul Gemignani did say that to a friend of mine, although I forget what the song was. If I remember, I'll tell you.
There are other things people write down or plug into their treos as we sit in the hall waiting to go into the room and strut our goods. I think it is just busy work--but I'm not a terribly organized person. If I can make it to my audition on time with my picture and resume stapled together, well, that is a major accomplishment.
This is not going to be that kind of audition journal.
I am going to talk about what happens in the audition room....it's like opening Pandora's Box.
First installment? Tomorrow. I will cover bits and pieces of the 4 auditions I had this past week. For today, I have to get dudded up and out the door. I'm singing a concert in Westchester tonight. I'll make a little money and hopefully sell some books, which sounds like fun. Catch ya tomorrow.
Hey! Thanks for stopping by.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Miss Otis Regrets
Well, I 've been thinking about something.
A few weeks ago, I was speaking to a high school English class that had read my book, and one of the students asked me a simple question.
"Do you have any regrets? Specifically, do you regret anything about your book?"
I found (and continue to find) this question fascinating. I mean, I know it's not really fascinating, it's a simple question, and one that people ask all the time. But I don't think in terms of regrets. I usually think in terms of unbelievable gratitude. After all, a book deal basically fell out of the sky and landed in my lap. I've been on Broadway. I am happy in my 12 year (!) marriage and I have a smart, wonderful daughter who is brighter than sunshine. Then, someone thought my stories were worthy, they asked me to write it all down and they put in every book store in the country. I'm grateful. I don't have regrets.
But still, I kept wondering...do I regret anything? Let's be specific. Do I have any regrets about my book?
Yes. I do.
Most of my experience with the book was a joy. Some of it was funny (and slightly horrifying) like when I got a call that they wanted to call my book "My Name is Sharon Wheatley and I'm Fat." Seriously. Can you IMAGINE?? I said, "Uh, can I call you back?", had a short break down, and then came up with the current title, 'Til the Fat Girl Sings. This title is a compromise of their desire for an "in your face" title with the word "fat" in it, and my total loathing of the word fat (and belief that the word fat should NOT be in the title). 'Til the Fat Lady Sings is a common phrase and it was the best thing I could come up with. I wanted to call my book "Frozen Cupcakes" but no one liked that. Okay. I get it.
But this wasn't the biggest problem.
The biggest problem I had was a very strict word count from my publisher. I was asked to write my entire life story in 80,000 words. Trust me, when I first saw the number 80,000 on my contract I broke out in a cold sweat remembering 500 word essays for English when I'd write things like, "I really, really, really, really liked this book." And then count, 495, 496, 497, 498. Crap. Add "A lot!" Got it to 500. Whew!
But 80,000 words to get me from singing "Where is Love" in the 3rd grade to Avenue Q in 2006? Never gonna happen. Things were going to have to go. And they did. A lot of detail went down the drain.
That's what I regret, losing the detail.
When I was asked to write this book, well, there was no book. Usually, authors shop an already completed manuscript. This was not the case with me. I created an outline based on what they wanted, and I sent the book in a few chapters at a time. Maybe if I'd "shopped" a previously written manuscript, it would have gone differently, but I was asked to do it and I was thrilled (and stunned, and shocked and flattered and scared...you get the point!). (For me details on this, see the Broadway World article on the "news" page of my website.)
I had to figure out how to focus my book so I could give the publisher what they wanted, which was, in their words "A book which gives voice to the childhood obesity epidemic" while still telling my own story. I decided the only way to do it was to focus on my body--what my body looked like, what was said about my body, how I felt about my body, how my body was an obstacle, and finally, what happened to my body. My first draft came in 5 months later at about 120,000 words. We trimmed. We chopped. Entire chapters, some of my favorites, ended up gone. Major characters were whittled away. I was told, "Keep the focus on you, Sharon." Big chunks of high school--gone. Most things about my parents--gone. Somehow in the chopping, my mother's character lost her warmth and humor. I only saw that later, and I regret that. I'm
sorry, Mom.
Then for the final draft, "We need to re-vamp the end of the book. The first part is too sad, so we need to give the reader a better pay off. We need more Broadway and more about your life now." I was thrilled, I could write about meeting my husband, about the birth of my daughter. How many more words do I get? None. We have to chop things from the beginning. My grandmother, Meema--gone. The story about my Dad at McDonalds, a story my editor liked so much that she xeroxed it and sent it around the office? Gone. It was very hard to tell my Dad the McDonalds story was gone.
You may wonder why I didn't take a stand? Demand more words? I couldn't--I'm a first time author. Please refer back to "grateful" at the top of the post. I rocked the boat as hard as I could, but I didn't want to get the deal canceled, capisce?
Another kind of bizarre thing, is that the book, essentially, ends in 1999, even though I wrote it in 2005-2006. This is, simply put, because I ran out of words.
So what is my BIGGEST regret? That there is hardly any of my daughter in the book. But then again, she deserves her own book, which I have always said would be called "The Adventures of Cookie and Sally" Cookie and Sally are Charlotte's imaginary friends and they go on wild world travels and they each have dozens of kids. Cookie is made of (naturally) cookie, and Sally is made of Jello (green).
So, to put it simply, I am very grateful for the opportunities given to me, but I wish I'd been given more words. I really, really, really, really, really do. A lot.
A few weeks ago, I was speaking to a high school English class that had read my book, and one of the students asked me a simple question.
"Do you have any regrets? Specifically, do you regret anything about your book?"
I found (and continue to find) this question fascinating. I mean, I know it's not really fascinating, it's a simple question, and one that people ask all the time. But I don't think in terms of regrets. I usually think in terms of unbelievable gratitude. After all, a book deal basically fell out of the sky and landed in my lap. I've been on Broadway. I am happy in my 12 year (!) marriage and I have a smart, wonderful daughter who is brighter than sunshine. Then, someone thought my stories were worthy, they asked me to write it all down and they put in every book store in the country. I'm grateful. I don't have regrets.
But still, I kept wondering...do I regret anything? Let's be specific. Do I have any regrets about my book?
Yes. I do.
Most of my experience with the book was a joy. Some of it was funny (and slightly horrifying) like when I got a call that they wanted to call my book "My Name is Sharon Wheatley and I'm Fat." Seriously. Can you IMAGINE?? I said, "Uh, can I call you back?", had a short break down, and then came up with the current title, 'Til the Fat Girl Sings. This title is a compromise of their desire for an "in your face" title with the word "fat" in it, and my total loathing of the word fat (and belief that the word fat should NOT be in the title). 'Til the Fat Lady Sings is a common phrase and it was the best thing I could come up with. I wanted to call my book "Frozen Cupcakes" but no one liked that. Okay. I get it.
But this wasn't the biggest problem.
The biggest problem I had was a very strict word count from my publisher. I was asked to write my entire life story in 80,000 words. Trust me, when I first saw the number 80,000 on my contract I broke out in a cold sweat remembering 500 word essays for English when I'd write things like, "I really, really, really, really liked this book." And then count, 495, 496, 497, 498. Crap. Add "A lot!" Got it to 500. Whew!
But 80,000 words to get me from singing "Where is Love" in the 3rd grade to Avenue Q in 2006? Never gonna happen. Things were going to have to go. And they did. A lot of detail went down the drain.
That's what I regret, losing the detail.
When I was asked to write this book, well, there was no book. Usually, authors shop an already completed manuscript. This was not the case with me. I created an outline based on what they wanted, and I sent the book in a few chapters at a time. Maybe if I'd "shopped" a previously written manuscript, it would have gone differently, but I was asked to do it and I was thrilled (and stunned, and shocked and flattered and scared...you get the point!). (For me details on this, see the Broadway World article on the "news" page of my website.)
I had to figure out how to focus my book so I could give the publisher what they wanted, which was, in their words "A book which gives voice to the childhood obesity epidemic" while still telling my own story. I decided the only way to do it was to focus on my body--what my body looked like, what was said about my body, how I felt about my body, how my body was an obstacle, and finally, what happened to my body. My first draft came in 5 months later at about 120,000 words. We trimmed. We chopped. Entire chapters, some of my favorites, ended up gone. Major characters were whittled away. I was told, "Keep the focus on you, Sharon." Big chunks of high school--gone. Most things about my parents--gone. Somehow in the chopping, my mother's character lost her warmth and humor. I only saw that later, and I regret that. I'm
sorry, Mom.
Then for the final draft, "We need to re-vamp the end of the book. The first part is too sad, so we need to give the reader a better pay off. We need more Broadway and more about your life now." I was thrilled, I could write about meeting my husband, about the birth of my daughter. How many more words do I get? None. We have to chop things from the beginning. My grandmother, Meema--gone. The story about my Dad at McDonalds, a story my editor liked so much that she xeroxed it and sent it around the office? Gone. It was very hard to tell my Dad the McDonalds story was gone.
You may wonder why I didn't take a stand? Demand more words? I couldn't--I'm a first time author. Please refer back to "grateful" at the top of the post. I rocked the boat as hard as I could, but I didn't want to get the deal canceled, capisce?
Another kind of bizarre thing, is that the book, essentially, ends in 1999, even though I wrote it in 2005-2006. This is, simply put, because I ran out of words.
So what is my BIGGEST regret? That there is hardly any of my daughter in the book. But then again, she deserves her own book, which I have always said would be called "The Adventures of Cookie and Sally" Cookie and Sally are Charlotte's imaginary friends and they go on wild world travels and they each have dozens of kids. Cookie is made of (naturally) cookie, and Sally is made of Jello (green).
So, to put it simply, I am very grateful for the opportunities given to me, but I wish I'd been given more words. I really, really, really, really, really do. A lot.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Giving Thanks For All The Reader Letters
Since my book was released on June 1st, I’ve received hundreds of letters from readers. I have to say, I'M SHOCKED!! It wasn’t my intention to inspire people by writing a book…I was just asked to sit down and write my life story, ya know? But what a great thing this is, an unexpected but wonderful community created by my book. So often I hear that someone “passed my book along” to their daughter, their mother, their cousin, their best friend, and there really is no better compliment. Thank you. In addition, I’m flattered that people take the time to write me, and you know what? I’ve learned a lot from the letters I’ve received. Over and over again I hear the same things.
*That many people went through what I went through as a kid.
*That we need better role models for young women.
*That many of us have spent years feeling like we are half a person because we have a larger waistline.
*That too many people have sacrificed their dreams because they felt certain they were too unattractive to succeed.
Well, here. Rather than paraphrase, I’ll give you a little sampling of the letters. With a couple of exceptions (involving people who gave me permission), I’m changing names or identifying characteristics to protect everybody. Enjoy!
This was one of my favorites. It’s from Emily Skinner, Tony award nominee and all around fabulous performer and person…
"YOU HAVE WRITTEN THE MOST ENGAGING AND LOVELY MEMOIR OF WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE AN EVOLVING SELF. YOU REMINDS US THAT WORRYING ABOUT BEING A SIZE TWO IS A WASTE OF TIME AND ENERGY---THAT TRUE FULFILMENT COMES WITH FOCUSING ON YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND THE WORK THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. AS A PERFORMER, I CONSTANTLY STRUGGLE WITH THE IDEA THAT I SHOULD LOOK AND BE A CERTAIN WAY. BUT THIS TERRIFIC BOOK PROVES ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT IT IS HUMANITY, SKILL, TALENT, AND HUMOR THAT MAKES ONE RICH AS A PERFORMER, NOT DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIT A CERTAIN BOGUS PHYSICAL IDEAL. YOU SHOW US THAT IF YOU HAVE ALL OF THOSE THINGS, YOU CAN MOST DEFINITELY HAVE A CAREER IN THE THEATER, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS. MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT MEANS YOU'RE A REALLY NEAT HUMAN BEING...."
Here’s a sampling of more….
… I read the whole thing last night (yes, I'm a nerd) and I loved it. I can't tell you how many times I laughed out loud! And when you're by yourself in your room, with no one to hear you, and you still belly laugh...that's when you know it's good.
…Ms.Wheatley, I just finished your book " 'Til the Fat Girl Sings" and-- "Wow"! I read it just as fast as I could, a day and a half-ish. I couldn't decide if I wanted to tear through it and see what was on the next page or savor each word. For once I do not feel simply fat and alone!
…I just felt so wonderful reading your book to be able to identify with someone who made it so big in the industry and know that not everything was coming up roses while you were growing up. Thank you for being so open and honest and helping so many others with big dreams and letting us understand how to love the beauty within ourselves. Best of luck to you.
… You don't know me. And actually I have never been inspired to write to an author of a book I was reading until this moment. Why on earth am I telling you this, I don't know? I guess because I have been keeping it inside of me and wanted to tell someone who might understand.
… I opened it and did not put it down until I finished the entire thing. I, too, was a fat child and am still a fat adult. I've shared so many of the same experiences as you, and reading the book was like taking a look into my own childhood. What's more, your words have really inspired me to take positive action in my career.
… Sharon, I just bought your book as a gift for my daughter's birthday today. She turns eighteen. I feel certain that I was drawn to it for a reason. You see, she is overweight, hates herself for every possible reason and is so lost.
…People say I am cute... I don't want to be cute, I want to be beautiful. I know, I have to be happy with me, but it is so hard when all I hear is "Beached Whale", or my parents saying are you sure you should be eating that?
…Like you, I grew up with a thin mother only she never diets and eats horribly. Much of my relationship with her is based on her approval of my weight and appearance and it still continues even though I am 31!
…You are helping more people than you know by having written this book. :-) I know you helped me.
…OMG! I read your book and with every word my heart began to sing, "Yes! There is hope!" I am an aspiring Broadway actress who at the moment has everyone convinced that I am dying to become a music teacher.
…Hi Sharon, it's strange, but I feel like I know you! I was walking through Barnes and Noble the other day and I noticed something that looked like a playbill on the table with all of the new books. I walked over and picked it up. As soon as I read the title, I knew it would be for me. I have not only been overweight for quite a while now, but I absolutely love Broadway more than life itself! I sat down, with my bag of pretzels of course, and started reading your story. After a box of tissues (tears from laughing and crying), a bag of pretzels, and three hours, I finished your book. I found it brilliant!
… I had never considered before how many similarities there are to growing up gay and growing up overweight.
…i will be 15 in october, and i am very much involved in musical theater. i have been overweight my entire life and have struggled with self esteem issues. i have gone through the same things you did in your book and it was almost funny reading it because it was so much like me.
… I have struggled (battled? been through hell and back?) with my weight since I hit puberty and found so many similarities with what I went through and what you went through that I was shaking my head in wonder and understanding just about every page of the way.
Thanks for reading all of these. I hope you had as much fun as I've had. There are many more letters I didn't quote, but I've read and answered everyone of them. Thanks to everyone who has written me, keep them coming!
I'll finish with the quote I get the most often, and always cracks me up when I read it.
…SHARON WHEATLEY HOW DID WE HAVE THE SAME LIFE?????
*That many people went through what I went through as a kid.
*That we need better role models for young women.
*That many of us have spent years feeling like we are half a person because we have a larger waistline.
*That too many people have sacrificed their dreams because they felt certain they were too unattractive to succeed.
Well, here. Rather than paraphrase, I’ll give you a little sampling of the letters. With a couple of exceptions (involving people who gave me permission), I’m changing names or identifying characteristics to protect everybody. Enjoy!
This was one of my favorites. It’s from Emily Skinner, Tony award nominee and all around fabulous performer and person…
"YOU HAVE WRITTEN THE MOST ENGAGING AND LOVELY MEMOIR OF WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE AN EVOLVING SELF. YOU REMINDS US THAT WORRYING ABOUT BEING A SIZE TWO IS A WASTE OF TIME AND ENERGY---THAT TRUE FULFILMENT COMES WITH FOCUSING ON YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND THE WORK THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. AS A PERFORMER, I CONSTANTLY STRUGGLE WITH THE IDEA THAT I SHOULD LOOK AND BE A CERTAIN WAY. BUT THIS TERRIFIC BOOK PROVES ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT IT IS HUMANITY, SKILL, TALENT, AND HUMOR THAT MAKES ONE RICH AS A PERFORMER, NOT DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIT A CERTAIN BOGUS PHYSICAL IDEAL. YOU SHOW US THAT IF YOU HAVE ALL OF THOSE THINGS, YOU CAN MOST DEFINITELY HAVE A CAREER IN THE THEATER, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS. MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT MEANS YOU'RE A REALLY NEAT HUMAN BEING...."
Here’s a sampling of more….
… I read the whole thing last night (yes, I'm a nerd) and I loved it. I can't tell you how many times I laughed out loud! And when you're by yourself in your room, with no one to hear you, and you still belly laugh...that's when you know it's good.
…Ms.Wheatley, I just finished your book " 'Til the Fat Girl Sings" and-- "Wow"! I read it just as fast as I could, a day and a half-ish. I couldn't decide if I wanted to tear through it and see what was on the next page or savor each word. For once I do not feel simply fat and alone!
…I just felt so wonderful reading your book to be able to identify with someone who made it so big in the industry and know that not everything was coming up roses while you were growing up. Thank you for being so open and honest and helping so many others with big dreams and letting us understand how to love the beauty within ourselves. Best of luck to you.
… You don't know me. And actually I have never been inspired to write to an author of a book I was reading until this moment. Why on earth am I telling you this, I don't know? I guess because I have been keeping it inside of me and wanted to tell someone who might understand.
… I opened it and did not put it down until I finished the entire thing. I, too, was a fat child and am still a fat adult. I've shared so many of the same experiences as you, and reading the book was like taking a look into my own childhood. What's more, your words have really inspired me to take positive action in my career.
… Sharon, I just bought your book as a gift for my daughter's birthday today. She turns eighteen. I feel certain that I was drawn to it for a reason. You see, she is overweight, hates herself for every possible reason and is so lost.
…People say I am cute... I don't want to be cute, I want to be beautiful. I know, I have to be happy with me, but it is so hard when all I hear is "Beached Whale", or my parents saying are you sure you should be eating that?
…Like you, I grew up with a thin mother only she never diets and eats horribly. Much of my relationship with her is based on her approval of my weight and appearance and it still continues even though I am 31!
…You are helping more people than you know by having written this book. :-) I know you helped me.
…OMG! I read your book and with every word my heart began to sing, "Yes! There is hope!" I am an aspiring Broadway actress who at the moment has everyone convinced that I am dying to become a music teacher.
…Hi Sharon, it's strange, but I feel like I know you! I was walking through Barnes and Noble the other day and I noticed something that looked like a playbill on the table with all of the new books. I walked over and picked it up. As soon as I read the title, I knew it would be for me. I have not only been overweight for quite a while now, but I absolutely love Broadway more than life itself! I sat down, with my bag of pretzels of course, and started reading your story. After a box of tissues (tears from laughing and crying), a bag of pretzels, and three hours, I finished your book. I found it brilliant!
… I had never considered before how many similarities there are to growing up gay and growing up overweight.
…i will be 15 in october, and i am very much involved in musical theater. i have been overweight my entire life and have struggled with self esteem issues. i have gone through the same things you did in your book and it was almost funny reading it because it was so much like me.
… I have struggled (battled? been through hell and back?) with my weight since I hit puberty and found so many similarities with what I went through and what you went through that I was shaking my head in wonder and understanding just about every page of the way.
Thanks for reading all of these. I hope you had as much fun as I've had. There are many more letters I didn't quote, but I've read and answered everyone of them. Thanks to everyone who has written me, keep them coming!
I'll finish with the quote I get the most often, and always cracks me up when I read it.
…SHARON WHEATLEY HOW DID WE HAVE THE SAME LIFE?????
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Sophomore Year
My weight was going up and up...
Little Miss Sunshine
I guess I'm about 3 or so? Nice tan!